Some people think the best way to redude crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, there are better, alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is argued that staying a long time period in prison is usually the best step for preventing criminal activities,
while
, critics believe that other approaches must be adopted. Personally,in my view in some
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
there are better options to decrease crimes. Being linger in prison is not
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
measure to decline
crime
.
This
action would
brought
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
extra
expences
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
for governments because prisoners need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
services and food.
Although
this
type of
scentence
Correct your spelling
sentence
is good for hardened
criminals
, for people who do not commit serious
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
a fine would be the best decision.
In addition
,
athourities
Correct your spelling
authorities
could force them to do some services which are beneficial for society
such
as planting threes of cleaning in
urban
Add an article
an urban
the urban
show examples
area. All in all, staying in jail might not resolve
this
issue because the families of
criminals
confront poverty, regardless,
crime
activities will rise.
On the other hand
, many say that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the best method to decrease the number of
criminals
in society is forcing these groups to stay a huge
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
of time in prison. They believe the freedom of these individuals causes much more
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
and they devote
crime
again. The number of people in these places must be restricted,
due to
connecting with other hardened
criminals
, every person might act
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
serious
crime
.
While
some believe that the presence in jail for many years is the best remedy for
shortened
Wrong verb form
shortening
show examples
the commitment
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
crime
, I opine that we must choose other solutions.
Submitted by darkred6171 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: