Some people think the best way to redude crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, there are better, alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #redude #crime #prison #sentences #alternative

It is argued that staying a long time period in prison is usually the best step for preventing criminal activities,

while

, critics believe that other approaches must be adopted. Personally,in my view in some

cases

Add a comma

,cases

show examples

there are better options to decrease crimes. Being linger in prison is not

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

measure to decline

crime

This

action would

brought

Wrong verb form

bring

show examples

extra

expences

Correct your spelling

expenses

show examples

for governments because prisoners need

Change preposition

apply

show examples

services and food.

Although

this

type of

scentence

Correct your spelling

sentence

is good for hardened

criminals

, for people who do not commit serious

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

pay

Wrong verb form

paying

show examples

a fine would be the best decision.

In addition

athourities

Correct your spelling

authorities

could force them to do some services which are beneficial for society

such

as planting threes of cleaning in

urban

Add an article

an urban

the urban

show examples

area. All in all, staying in jail might not resolve

this

issue because the families of

criminals

confront poverty, regardless,

crime

activities will rise.

On the other hand

, many say that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the best method to decrease the number of

criminals

in society is forcing these groups to stay a huge

amout

Correct your spelling

amount

of time in prison. They believe the freedom of these individuals causes much more

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

and they devote

crime

again. The number of people in these places must be restricted,

due to

connecting with other hardened

criminals

, every person might act

Add an article

a more

show examples

serious

crime

While

some believe that the presence in jail for many years is the best remedy for

shortened

Wrong verb form

shortening

show examples

the commitment

Change preposition

show examples

crime

, I opine that we must choose other solutions.

Submitted by darkred6171 on Sat Jul 29 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

241 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Some people think that governments should pay for people’s education and health care, while others believe that it is not governments’ responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It seems that with the passing of time, some education and health issues have become unsolvable in most countries, furthermore, some people argue that education and health should be free and provided by the authorities. This essay will be explained further in the following paragraphs.
5.5
band
Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closue of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt that large supermarkets are expanding their stores in several countries around the globe. While some people believe that it is a negative development and this will detrimentally affect the local communities, others argue that it is beneficial for society. I completely agree with the later view as ample reasons are present to substantiate it. This essay would delve into my viewpoint with relevant illustrations.
7
band
One of the major problems that face today’s governments is creating enough satisfactory houses for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.
In the modern world, the population is growing at a fast pace, and it becomes a challenge that governments are facing which leads to a scarcity of space to build houses. The authorities should provide adequate houses while also preserving the environment. In my view, I believe that the ministry that constructs green buildings acceptable to society is a great strategy.
4
band
New technologies provided machines which replaced workers to do certain physical jobs and tasks. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
It is very much true that, advanced technologies are growing like anything in all ways. Therefore, a fair amount of people believes automation can replace manpower at the workplace and I would like to express my viewpoints on the pros and cons of new technologies in the different industries.
8
band
In the past, museums stored information about culture and history. However, nowadays this information can be found through the Internet, so there is no need for museums. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
More and more people would access to virtual galleries rather than visiting museums, some are sceptical about the role of museums in the modern world. The Internet often serves efficiently as an enormous source of cultural and historical information, but I think it is unnecessary that museums would become obsolete due to its vital communal values.

Some people think the best way to redude crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, there are better, alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that governments should pay for people’s education and health care, while others believe that it is not governments’ responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closue of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

One of the major problems that face today’s governments is creating enough satisfactory houses for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.

New technologies provided machines which replaced workers to do certain physical jobs and tasks. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past, museums stored information about culture and history. However, nowadays this information can be found through the Internet, so there is no need for museums. Do you agree or disagree with this view?