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Band 3.5

Some people think the best way to redude crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, there are better, alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #redude #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
It is argued that staying a long time period in prison is usually the best step for preventing criminal activities,
while
, critics believe that other approaches must be adopted. Personally,in my view in some
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 there are better options to decrease crimes. Being linger in prison is not
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 measure to decline
crime
.
This
 action would
brought
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
 extra
expences
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
 for governments because prisoners need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
services and food.
Although
this
 type of
scentence
Correct your spelling
sentence
 is good for hardened
criminals
, for people who do not commit serious
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 a fine would be the best decision.
In addition
,
athourities
Correct your spelling
authorities
 could force them to do some services which are beneficial for society
such
 as planting threes of cleaning in
urban
Add an article
an urban
the urban
show examples
 area. All in all, staying in jail might not resolve
this
 issue because the families of
criminals
 confront poverty, regardless,
crime
 activities will rise.
On the other hand
, many say that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the best method to decrease the number of
criminals
 in society is forcing these groups to stay a huge
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
 of time in prison. They believe the freedom of these individuals causes much more
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 and they devote
crime
 again. The number of people in these places must be restricted,
due to
 connecting with other hardened
criminals
, every person might act
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 serious
crime
.
While
 some believe that the presence in jail for many years is the best remedy for
shortened
Wrong verb form
shortening
show examples
 the commitment
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
crime
, I opine that we must choose other solutions.
Submitted by darkred6171 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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