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Band 4

Despite the benefits for health, fewer people today than ever before exercise by walking.

#health #people #exercise
Walking is the elementary
forms
Fix the agreement mistake
form
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 of physical
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
 that
people
 can do to have a healthy lifestyle.
However
,
smaller
Add an article
a smaller
the smaller
show examples
 number of
people
 showing
their
Change the word
an
show examples
 interest in walking as a way of
exercise
.
This
 essay will discuss the main reason for less enthusiasm
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 walking nowadays. There are many reasons for reduced walking
exercise
amongst
Change preposition
among
show examples
people
. The first reason is the easy
avaibility
Correct your spelling
availability
 of transportation, nowadays more and more vehicles are being
producted
Correct your spelling
produced
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can meet the needs of different objects.
Moreover
, the heat of the world is increasing
leads
Wrong verb form
leading
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 to weather
condition
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conditions
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 becoming hot and humid
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
people
 more
depent
Correct your spelling
dependent
depend
 on cars or motorbikes when going out. The third basis is gyms
now
Add a missing verb
are now
show examples
 open more
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a variety of
diffirent
Correct your spelling
different
 subjects. So
people
 tend to choose to
exercise
 in cool gyms
instead
 of walking outside in hot weather.
People
needs
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need
show examples
 to give solutions that can be taken to promote walking
exercise
.
Firstly
, the easiest way to raise
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of walking is
change
Fix the infinitive
to change
show examples
 in walking routine.
People
 should take their spare time to
walking
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walk
show examples
 as a hobby.
Secondly
, governments can have some measures to reduce the rate of crime in the areas, install CCTV, and security guards should be employed so that individuals can be safe when walking outside.
Finally
, there should be more health-awareness
campains
Correct your spelling
campaigns
campaign
 to change
people
's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
in
Change preposition
about
show examples
 walking
exercise
Fix the agreement mistake
exercises
show examples
. In conclusion, there are a number of reasons why individuals have halted walking workouts.
On the other hand
, effective methods can be applied to promote
people
 in resuming walking
Submitted by xuanbtm on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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