IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

some peolpe think that woman should not be allowed to work in the police force. Do you agree or disagree?

#peolpe #woman #work #police #force
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Many people are of the opinion that
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 must not employ to be as
police
Use synonyms
 officers. Personally, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view and will highlight the reasons why in the following essay. It is vital to understand that
Use synonyms
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
 can do a dangerous job as the
police
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because, presently, female and male have equality , everything
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 fair in life,
Use synonyms
work
Correct word choice
and work
show examples
 ;
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
male-domated
Correct your spelling
male-dominated
.
Moreoverm
Correct your spelling
Moreover
Use synonyms
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
 are more careful and have better reasoning skills.
For example
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 to be
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
police
Use synonyms
 can be more friendly and
patiently
Change the word
patient
show examples
 to help children lose their parents than male. Another point worth
consideration
Replace the word
considering
show examples
 is that
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 should not be permitted to employ
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
police
Use synonyms
 officers.
As a result
Linking Words
, the charity of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 is weaker than
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, some crime is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
men
Change the noun form
man
show examples
 that they have strong
violent
Replace the word
violence
show examples
 so some
woman
Use synonyms
police
Use synonyms
 maybe can not prevent themselves from crimes lead to
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 bad necessary.
To sum up
Linking Words
 , in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
woman
Use synonyms
 can be allowed to
work
Use synonyms
 in the
police
Use synonyms
 force because many women
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 smart, astute,
have
Correct word choice
and have
show examples
qualification
Add an article
the qualification
a qualification
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
police
Correct your spelling
policy
show examples
. If they
Add a missing verb
are worth
show examples
worth
Correct pronoun usage
itworth
show examples
, people have to
equality
Add a missing verb
have equality
show examples
 with them.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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