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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian households. the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which resukt from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting snd reposrting the kain features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian households. the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which resukt from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting snd reposrting the kain features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#first #energy #australian #households #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions #resukt #summarise #information #snd #kain #features #comparisons
The given pie charts illustrate the percentage of
Australian
 families
consume
Correct pronoun usage
that consume
show examples
energy
 for several appliances and the greenhouse
gas
 emissions
result
Correct pronoun usage
that result
show examples
 from
this
energy
use
.
Overall
, it can be
cearly
Correct your spelling
clearly
 seen that
Australian
 households
use
 the most
energy
 for heating and
water
 heating, and the highest
greenhoouse
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
 effect from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
energy
 usage is
water
 heating. Looking at the information in more detail, 42% and 30%
energy
Change preposition
of energy
show examples
used
Add a missing verb
were used
show examples
 for heating and
water
 heating respectively. These usages contribute to the highest greenhouse
gas
emission
 with 32% of
gas
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
 from
water
 heating,
while
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 15% from heating.
At
Change preposition
With
show examples
 regards to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
refrigerator usage, it
ccontribtes
Correct your spelling
contributes
 to
doubled
Replace the word
double
show examples
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
 where 7%
Australian
Change preposition
of Australian
show examples
 families consume
energy
 for
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 and 14% produce
gas
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
 from
this
energy
use
.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 small proportion of
Australian
 households used
energy
 for cooling and lighting at only 2% and 4% respectively and these figures
also
 contribute to 3% and 8% of
gas
 emissions. 15% of
Austalian
Correct your spelling
Australia
use
energy
 for other appliances and
this
 usage
release
Correct subject-verb agreement
releases
show examples
 28% of
gas
 emissions.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words australian, energy, gas, use, water, emission with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

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