Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#television #communication #friends #support

It is often argued that

has

riuned

Correct your spelling

ruined

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

and

communication

among family and

friends

. As much as I agree that

Television

has a negative effect

Change preposition

show examples

communication

among

people

, I believe it can be useful in some ways to communicate with others. On the one hand,

people

especially children spend a great deal of

time

watching

programmes and they have less

time

for their families and

friends

. It means that individuals spend a sizable amount of their leisure

time

watching

Television

and

due to

this

fact they do not have enough

time

to spend with

friends

and their family.

This

can even lead to depression,

for example

, I had a friend who

was

Verb problem

had

show examples

addiction and he could not imagine his life without

. Since he spent a lot of

time

watching

Television

, he lost most of his

friends

and he became depressed.

Thus

can ruin

communication

and even

leads

Correct subject-verb agreement

lead

show examples

to depression.

On the other hand

programmes can give us some topics that can help us to start a conversation with others and discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

numerous topics with our peers. By

this

I mean,

shows can give us

many

Correct your spelling

any

show examples

information about animals, politics, agriculture, etc, which can help us to start a discussion with

friends

and

familiy memebers

Correct your spelling

family members

or even

starangers

Correct your spelling

strangers

For instance

, when we are in

group

Add an article

a group

the group

show examples

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

people

feel shy to talk and communicate

Change preposition

with

show examples

each other, we can

benefir

Correct your spelling

benefit

from

information

Correct article usage

the information

show examples

that we learned from

and start a conversation and ask for others'

opinion

Fix the agreement mistake

opinions

show examples

and make them talk

abou

Correct your spelling

about

the topic.

Therefore

, in

this

kind of

ways

Fix the agreement mistake

way

show examples

Television

can be

benefical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

people

communication

. In conclusion,

although

Television

can be harmful

for

Change preposition

show examples

human's

Change noun form

human

show examples

relationships and

communication

and make

people

depressed, I personally believe that

people

can benefit from

shows' information to communicate with

people

and even find new

friends

Submitted by amirrezamardani613 on Sun Jul 30 2023

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Task Response

You have addressed the task by providing your opinion and supporting it with specific reasons and examples. However, make sure to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the statement at the beginning of the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion. Your main points are supported with relevant examples. To improve, make sure the progression of ideas is smooth and that your points are developed and connected in a logical sequence throughout the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what some extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that arts subject such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.