In many countries, art galleries visitors have been declining steadily. What are the possible reason? how to change this trend?

#countries #art #galleries #visitors #reason #change #trend

In many parts of the world, fewer and fewer

people

can be seen at

art

galleries in the present day.

This

essay will state the possible reason for

this

downfall and suggest some options to alter

this

trend.

Firstly

, one of the significant factors contributing to

this

issue is that

people

are heavily immersed in their work in the red-race society nowadays to firm their livelihoods and their future nest egg.

Thus

, they usually spend time at home during the weekend to do their house chores and with their family.

Secondly

, the quality of the

art

seems decreasing, and loses the interest of the public.

This

happens when artists struggle to earn a living and leave no room for their professionalism.

As a result

, they aim to persuade the majority for the money rather than to show off their skills. There are a few suggestions to improve the situation.

Art

can de-stress

people

's minds.

For instance

art

such

as scenery, forest and waterfall pictures promote the tranquillity of the human mind.

Consequently

, the employer should provide family days for their employees by letting them visit the

art

galleries to relax their minds.

Additionally

, the government should support the artists by providing affordable rental prices or free-of-charge function halls to showcase their artworks.

For example

, in Singapore, artwork shows are allowed free of charge at the shopping mall function place so that the artists can able to closely get in touch with the locals to promote their artwork skills. In conclusion,

people

are busy and struggling for their living resulting the fewer visitors to

art

galleries.

Additionally

, the government concentrated more on the economic sectors to form developing countries. These causes are mainly

due to

human factors.If we can improve and balance those inequalities,

art

can be again an integral part of human society.

Submitted by ryanmaw.07 on Sun Jul 30 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Task Response: The essay addresses the question by discussing reasons for the decline in art gallery visitors and suggesting solutions to change this trend. However, some points lack clarity and relevance to the task. Focus on directly answering the question and providing more specific examples.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a logical structure and presents clear ideas, but the introduction and conclusion need to be more explicitly stated. Additionally, the examples provided lack clarity and coherence. Work on refining the introduction and conclusion and ensure that supporting examples are relevant and clearly connected to the main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some People Think They Have the Right to Use as Much Fresh Water as They Want, While Others Believe the Government Should Control the Use of Fresh Water as It Is a Limited Resource. Discuss Both Views and Give Your Own Opinion.
Some individuals argue that they can freely use clear water for whatever they want. Meanwhile, others think that the practice of using this water should be controlled by the authorities. Even though people can access groundwater by drilling the soil and using it freely, its availability is limited and the administration should regulate the usage to ensure its availability.
<4
band
Office Survey Your company would like to find out better uses for their extra space. They are undecided between creating a fitness area or a leisure swimming pool Choose between options A and B. Why do you prefer your option? Explain the reasons for your choice, and write about 150-200 words.
I advocate for fitness centers as It would be greatly beneficial for Physical well-being for our associates along with flexibility of all day opening hours.
6
band
today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, advertising plays a crucial role in selling different popular products rather than the real need of people in society. For some ,reasons I agree with this statement.
6
band
Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?
It has been argued that males and females have their own strengths and weaknesses, and it is necessary to help them choose the right professions based on their gender. I completely agree with that opinion, relying on examples and our ancestor's living conditions and history.
8
band
Successful sportsmen can earn a great deal more than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The discussion about whether or not sports celebrities can earn much more, compared to other crucial professions, raises a thorny question in today's complex society. Although it can be argued that it is pretty fair, I strongly believe that this view is totally unjustified for some aspects.

In many countries, art galleries visitors have been declining steadily. What are the possible reason? how to change this trend?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some People Think They Have the Right to Use as Much Fresh Water as They Want, While Others Believe the Government Should Control the Use of Fresh Water as It Is a Limited Resource. Discuss Both Views and Give Your Own Opinion.

Office Survey Your company would like to find out better uses for their extra space. They are undecided between creating a fitness area or a leisure swimming pool Choose between options A and B. Why do you prefer your option? Explain the reasons for your choice, and write about 150-200 words.

today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?

Successful sportsmen can earn a great deal more than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.