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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some People Think They Have the Right to Use as Much Fresh Water as They Want, While Others Believe the Government Should Control the Use of Fresh Water as It Is a Limited Resource. Discuss Both Views and Give Your Own Opinion.

#people #right #water #government #control #resource
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Some individuals argue that they can freely
use
 clear
water
 for whatever they want. Meanwhile, others think that the practice of using
this
water
 should be controlled by the authorities. Even though people can access
groundwater
 by drilling the soil and using it freely, its availability is limited and the administration should regulate the usage to ensure its availability. On the one hand, people believe that freshwater can be obtained freely by drilling the earth to make a well, they can
use
 it casually without any limitation.
This
 is because every household usually drills the soil to pump out the
groundwater
 and
use
 it for daily necessities
such
 as drinking
water
, cooking, and showers. Making their own well does not require a legal permit and they can
use
 an unlimited amount of
water
.
For example
, in Surabaya, most of the residents have their own wells to fulfil their daily needs.
However
,
this
 practice poses environmental risks in the long run.
On the other hand
, using a limited amount of
groundwater
 for large consumption and economic activities poses risks to the environment and the government should set a rule to
this
 phenomenon. Business places
such
 as hotels and restaurants
use
groundwater
 to supply their needs which depletes
water
 reserves.
This
 type of business requires a huge amount of
water
 consumption
thus
 risking
water
 availability for the residential area near their locations.
In addition
, in the long run,
this
 can cause land to shrink.
For instance
, many studies reported that Jakarta’s land has shrunk over time
due to
 the depletion of
groundwater
.
This
 essay believes that the authorities should interfere with
this
 conduct and rule out clean
water
 consumption to prevent disasters. In conclusion,
although
 pure
water
 within the earth is available for people to
use
, the practice of
this
 should be ruled out by the governments because for some activities using too much
water
 will cause an environmental problem.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical connecting ideas with clear transitions to improve the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider developing your main points more thoroughly with more specific examples and explanations.
task achievement
Present a well-balanced discussion of both views before providing your opinion to fully satisfy the task requirement.
task achievement
Expand on specific examples to support your arguments, making them more compelling and detailed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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