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Band 4

the chart below shows the precentage of people who ate five protions of fruite and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008

the chart below shows the precentage of people who ate five protions of fruite and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008
#precentage #people #five #protions #fruite #vegetables #uk
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The data in
percentages
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
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 been shown in the bar graph for people who ate 5 portions of fruits and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the women have topped the table every
year
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 in eating 5 portions of fruits and vegetables per day followed by men and
then
Linking Words
 children throughout the
8
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8-year
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year
Use synonyms
 period.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 clear that the least number of fruits and vegetables were eaten in 2001 and the maximum in 2006 which
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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declined
Change preposition
in thr
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thr
Correct your spelling
the
 following next two
years
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a similar trend has been observed in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children and men for the first three
years
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where
Correct word choice
when
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 both their graphs
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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remained constant,
upto
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up to
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 2003 and
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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started to rise gradually for the next three
years
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 until 2006, after which the males
percentages
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have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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remained constant for the next one
year
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 but the
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
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percentages
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 have continued to rise
reaching
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to reach
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 their maximum in 2007.
However
Linking Words
, both the masculine and younger
genration
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generation
 numbers
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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declined in 2008.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
womens
Correct your spelling
women's
women
percentages
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 have never remained constant
theroughout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the
8
Add a hyphen
8-year
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year
Use synonyms
 duration, where they have shown a positive trend for the first 6
years
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 and a drop from 20016 onwards
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 2008. In conclusion, the influence of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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women
Change noun form
women's
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 eating habits has influenced
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
men and kids throughout the
8
Add a hyphen
8-year
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year
Use synonyms
 period.
Submitted by shuaibshariff321 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentages, year, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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