IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Usually, cities have more crime and disorder than rural areas in countries. There are several main reasons for this. This essay discusses why crime is high by area and how it can be eliminated.

First and foremost, Let's talk about why crime is higher in urban areas. One of the main reasons for
this
Linking Words
 is the large
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
. The more the population, the more the
number
Use synonyms
 of conflicts and illegal events between
people
Use synonyms
 will increase. Family problems can lead to very serious
crimes
Use synonyms
, and
such
Linking Words
crimes
Use synonyms
 have increased in recent times.One of the reasons for the high crime rate in cities is the large
number
Use synonyms
 of passenger cars. Crossing
this
Linking Words
 red light leads to violations
such
Linking Words
 as hitting pedestrians who are walking in the wrong place. Criminals can use the crowd of
people
Use synonyms
 and commit
crimes
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as pickpocketing and stealing from markets. Places
where there are a lot of
Add the comma(s)
, where there are a lot of people,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are the most convenient places for them. Second of all, we talked about the causes of
crimes
Use synonyms
. Now let's talk about how we can eliminate these incentives.
For example
Linking Words
, if these
crimes
Use synonyms
 are traffic violations, we can solve
this
Linking Words
 problem by increasing the
number
Use synonyms
 of traffic policemen. If their
offense
Change the spelling
offence
show examples
 is shoplifting,
such
Linking Words
crimes
Use synonyms
 can be prevented by security cameras and the vigilance of shop staff.
And
Correct word choice
As
show examples
 the result, The fact that the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in cities is more than in villages is the reason why crime is more.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: