IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph shows the number of people taking parts in 4 kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing Task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph shows the number of people taking parts in 4 kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing Task 1
#minutes #people #parts #kinds #sports #region #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line graph shows the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
people
 participating in basketball,
tennis
, badminton and
rugby
 from 1985 and 2005 in a specific region. Starting at about 250
people
 in 1985,
rugby
initially
 indicated a slight decline as
tennis
 gradually increased. In 1995
rugby
 started to fall rapidly
while
tennis
 continued to grow
having
Change the verb form
to have
show examples
 more than 200
people
 participating in it by the end of 2005, almost four times as
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
than
Change preposition
as
show examples
people
 playing
rugby
. During
this
 period badminton participants stayed
Change preposition
at aproximately
show examples
aproximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 50 with a slight
flunctuation
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
 in 1990.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
show examples
people
 taking part in basketball stayed
just
Change preposition
at just
show examples
 under 100 with a small drop in 1990 and a rise in 1995, since
then
 there has been a steady decrease making the amount of
participant
Fix the agreement mistake
participants
show examples
 in 1985 and 2005 equivalent. In conclusion from 1985 to 2005
rugby
 displayed
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 downward trend as
tennis
 soared. Basketball and badminton stayed about at about the same rate with
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
flunctuation
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
fluctuations
 in 1990.
Submitted by adelsot2005 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, tennis, rugby with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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