With an increasing number of people eating fast food, which if eating too regularly can cause health issues, some people think that the only solution is to ban it completely. To what extent do you agree?

Nowadays, the number of people who opt for fast
food
every day is growing,
nevertheless
Add a comma
,nevertheless
show examples
everyone knows that for our healthy it is important to pay attention to what we drink and eat. I partially agree with the idea that we need to ban
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
restaurants. There are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
reasons to believe that fast
food
should be closed. First of all, if a large number of people eating junk
food
every day the costs of healthcare will increase.
In other words
, we will have more sick people, and governments and/or
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
must spend more money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
essential aspect of our life.
On the other hand
, we can buy junk
food
, like sweets or sugary soft drinks, in a common grocery shop. If we want to be
consequently
, we should ban
this
kind of item from every shop.
In addition
, I think that everyone is responsible for his/her health,
hence
we should be free to take our decisions and how
lead
Add the particle
to lead
show examples
our lives. In conclusion, I believe that a general prohibition cannot be imposed, if the situation can be under control.
Submitted by quarenghi.lisa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: