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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

With an increasing number of people eating fast food, which if eating too regularly can cause health issues, some people think that the only solution is to ban it completely. To what extent do you agree?

#people #food #health #ban
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Nowadays, the number of people who opt for fast
food
Use synonyms
 every day is growing,
Linking Words
nevertheless
Add a comma
,nevertheless
show examples
 everyone knows that for our healthy it is important to pay attention to what we drink and eat. I partially agree with the idea that we need to ban
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants. There are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 reasons to believe that fast
food
Use synonyms
 should be closed. First of all, if a large number of people eating junk
food
Use synonyms
 every day the costs of healthcare will increase.
In other words
Linking Words
, we will have more sick people, and governments and/or
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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 must spend more money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essential aspect of our life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we can buy junk
food
Use synonyms
, like sweets or sugary soft drinks, in a common grocery shop. If we want to be
consequently
Linking Words
, we should ban
this
Linking Words
 kind of item from every shop.
In addition
Linking Words
, I think that everyone is responsible for his/her health,
hence
Linking Words
 we should be free to take our decisions and how
lead
Add the particle
to lead
show examples
 our lives. In conclusion, I believe that a general prohibition cannot be imposed, if the situation can be under control.
Submitted by quarenghi.lisa on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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