The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995.

The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995.
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The pie charts compare the highest level of education of females in a particular region in 1945 with that of 1995. The levels are given as percentages. Generally speaking, numerous women in 1945 did not go to school
as well as
Linking Words
graduated in the third grade
while
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in 1995 the majority of them graduated with a first degree. As is given in the illustrations, in 1945, over a third of them did not go to school as equal as graduated in the third grade.
While
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females who finished
year
Use synonyms
6 and
year
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9 accounted for a quarter, 15% and 10 respectively.
However
Linking Words
, merely 1% of women achieved a bachelor's degree and none of them reached a postgraduate. Half a century later, half of them, which constituted the highest ratio, succeed in their first degree. In comparison, it significantly increased by almost 49%, from 1% to 50%.
Moreover
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, the second-tenth achieved postgraduate
as well as
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those who graduated in
year
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12. The lowest education level in
this
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era was
year
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9, accounting for 10%, perhaps the changes in women's restrictions.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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