IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think thia is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #thia #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Today, a large number of
people
Use synonyms
 with health problems are taking
alternative
Use synonyms
treatments
Use synonyms
 rather
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 going to their doctor.I believe
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development,
although
Linking Words
alternative
Use synonyms
 medicines or what some
people
Use synonyms
 call "Eastern medicine"has its benefits , we still can'
t
Use synonyms
 fully rely on it . The main problem with Eastern medicine is that it doesn'
t
Use synonyms
 know
people
Use synonyms
's bodies aren'
t
Use synonyms
 the same, not all bodies react the same way to certain
treatments
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, someone with simple flu or cold would die from having a mixture of herbs and leaves not knowing they are allergic to it.Another problem is
such
Linking Words
alternative
Use synonyms
treatments
Use synonyms
 could be a scam, made to fool others into thinking it would treat them instantly.
For example
Linking Words
, a large number of
people
Use synonyms
 in saudi arabia drink specially made green tea thinking it will lose them all the fat. Visiting a doctor is very much more helpful, doctors can provide us with the medicine we need ,
also
Linking Words
 putting into account how our bodies will react.Because of all the new equipment hospitals are provided with, and the many years of practise and learning doctors go through. folks can rest assured that they're getting the right help they need. Another benefit is,Hospitals are
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
safer to deal with
then
Linking Words
,and closer to
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
going to a
far away
Correct your spelling
faraway
show examples
 country
were
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
 these
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
treatments
Use synonyms
 are. in conclusion,
alternative
Use synonyms
 care can'
t
Use synonyms
 be relied on, for it still has some wrong ways of treating.
folks
Capitalize word
Folks
show examples
 should stick to going to their usual doctor, and maybe try something else when that doesn'
t
Use synonyms
 work.
Submitted by hmody_b on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: