Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People
agree if adolescents may do some volunteering
activities
in their free time, those will give
some
Correct pronoun usage
them some
show examples
opportunities for them like looking forward
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
jobs, creating networking, helping each other, and many more.
Besides
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers, these
activities
can help communities for
searching
Wrong verb form
search
show examples
volunteers too. Adolescents will have
free
Correct quantifier usage
more free
show examples
time than any age group so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they have opportunities for
exploring
Wrong verb form
explore
show examples
something new. Some volunteering
activities
like charities,
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
old
people
in their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
, do some school
activities
may improve their skills for humanism.
Then
,
Involved
Add a missing verb
being Involved
show examples
in
activities
such
as volunteering may help them for using their free time.
On the other hand
, when teenagers do something in
this
work, it can create
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
relationship between
people
who
embroiled
Add a missing verb
are embroiled
show examples
in
this
work.
Finally
, young
people
will get a chance for searching jobs. For the community itself, it may help for arranging the budget when the activity
held
Add a missing verb
is held
show examples
.
For example
,
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
for paying
people
who take action in
this
activity can be reduced.
Then
,
Community
Correct article usage
the Community
show examples
should not worry about
people
who will help or
involved
Add a missing verb
be involved
show examples
in the activity. The group should only focus
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the main goal that can help or give the benefit to each other. In conclusion,
this
relationship can give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
benefit
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers and
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
itself. Not only for them, but
also
for someone who really needs their help like old
people
,
disable
Wrong verb form
disabled
show examples
people
, and so on. Young
people
usually have great power and competent skills for helping in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
projects. So
this
society really
improve
Change the verb form
improves
show examples
humanism aspects in
this
world.
Submitted by irhamtaufiqurrahman on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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