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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year.
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The table depicts information about the way the British
women
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 and
men
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 in the jobless spent their mornings and afternoons in the past year divided into fourteen
activities
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, measured in percentage. At first glance, housework, shopping, and job hunting were the most common
activities
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 for both
men
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 and
women
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, and drinking was not a very popular activity. As can be seen,
men
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 are more prone to spend their time gardening than five
times
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women
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, decorating, and walking, which are about three
times
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 more than
women
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's preference for each.
In addition
Linking Words
, 5% more
men
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 than
women
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 invest their time in job hunting.
Although
Linking Words
 in a much lower percentage than other
activities
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, playing sports and drinking were eight
times
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 and three
times
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 more than
women
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's choice, respectively. As observed,
women
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 tended to invest their time into housework, more than double that of
men
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, and shopping, around 15% more.
Furthermore
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,
activities
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such
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 as visiting friends and relatives, watching TV, reading, doing nothing or sitting around, just staying in bed, and visiting town were chosen for both in roughly the same proportion.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, men, activities, times with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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