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Writing Samples
Band 6

Art is considered an important part of a society as wen as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

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Art
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 is considered an important part of the modern world. In my opinion, I consider that it is important for
art
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 is very important for
children
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 to be taught
art
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 and
children
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 should be encouraged to
focus
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 on
art
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 rather than other subjects because it has a number of benefits.
Firstly
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, when
children
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 learn
art
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, it is good for their mental health because
art
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 can let
children
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 learn to relax.
In other words
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, learning
art
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 can release
children
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's stress physically and mentally from the long-term study pressure.
Therefore
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, it is very important for
children
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 to learn the
art
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 for their physical and mental health. Another advantage is that learning
art
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 can expand
children
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's knowledge. Because in the process of learning
art
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, students can learn about the background, characters and historical stories of
this
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art
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.
That is
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 to say,
children
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 can learn other aspects of knowledge by learning
art
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.
In addition
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, learning
art
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 helps
children
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 understand various knowledge and cultivates
children
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's interest in learning.
Finally
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, I think that
although
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 there are many benefits for
children
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 in learning
art
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, I don't think
children
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 should
focus
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 on
art
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 and ignore other subjects. Unless the child is very artistically gifted and can make a living out of it. Because it is difficult to generate economic value in contemporary society simply by learning
art
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. If
children
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focus
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 on learning
art
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, they may be engaged in the artwork they like in the future, but they will not be able to live comfortably or support a family. In conclusion,
children
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 who study
art
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 will gain a number of benefits. Though people may vary in their opinions, I personally believe that
children
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 should not be encouraged to
focus
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 on
art
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 rather than other subjects.

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task response
Task Response: The response partially addresses the task, but lacks depth and fails to fully explore the given prompt. More comprehensive analysis and discussion on the importance of teaching art to children is required.
coherence & cohesion
Coherence & Cohesion: The essay lacks a clear overall structure and the introduction and conclusion are underdeveloped. The essay would benefit from a stronger organization and a more coherent development of ideas.
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