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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the amount of money spennt on books in Germany , France , Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.

The graph shows the amount of money spennt on books in Germany , France , Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.
#amount #money #spennt #books #germany #france #austria
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The line graph provides detail of the number of
money
Use synonyms
 which was used in the
books
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 of 4 countries from 1995 to 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
 , it can be seen that the amount of
money
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 consumed on
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books
Correct article usage
the books
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 of 4 countries all increased , but only Austria has a big change. Germany, France and Italy have only a small change . Looking at the figures in
futher
Correct your spelling
further
 detail , Germany had the highest start with 80
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millions
Change to singular
million
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dollars
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 . In the following years , it rose and fell again . But in 2003 , it increased rapidly and reach a peak of nearly 95
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millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
dollars
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 . Next , Austria is the starting country with the lowest spending on
books
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 of 30
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millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
dollars
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 . From 1995 to 2001 , it increased slightly . But for the rest of the year, Austria increased by nearly 30
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millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
dollars
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 and stopped at 71
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millions
Change to singular
million
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dollars
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 . Turning to the
remaing
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remaining
 statistics , France
to account
Change the verb form
accounts
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 for nearly 55
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millions
Change to singular
million
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dollars
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 . it went up steadily and stopped near 73
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millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
dollars
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 . But that was enough for France to be second in spent
money
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in
Change preposition
on
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books
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 .
Finally
Linking Words
 , Italy spent 50 on
books
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 in 1995. In the following years , the amount of
money
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 Italy spent on
books
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 increased slowly . That made Italy the country that spent the least
money
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 on
books
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 in 2005.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words money, books, millions, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • peak
  • surge
  • decline
  • fluctuate
  • steady
  • comparison
  • significant change
  • spending patterns
  • economic conditions
  • cultural factors
  • cross-country comparison
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