Some people believe that the personal information of violent criminals should be made available to the public. Others think that this information should be protected. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is a common belief that the background of violent villains should be confidential from society.
However
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, a more persuasive argument is that the
residents
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had better be informed of that information.
This
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is because it can raise
people
Use synonyms
's awareness of the possibilities of
crime
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. On the one hand, some
people
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believe that keeping personal information secret will give violent offenders chances to rebuild their own
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. When few individuals have the biography of the criminals, they will no longer be status-discriminated when reintegrating into society.
According to
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some recent research, over 90% of villains whose profiles were protected from the public said that they had no problem with the
residents
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and become better since they left the prison.
As a result
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, they are more optimistic about their future and give up committing crimes again.
Nevertheless
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, it is more advisable to expose the biography of violent criminals to each citizen to give them a wake-up call about the
crime
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. By publishing the private
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
of the offenders, the government may help
people
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realize the worst perspectives to avoid.
For example
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, in Vietnam, all of the criminal cases of violence are broadcast to the
residents
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so that no more
crime
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about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
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this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
occurs and the society is always peaceful.
Therefore
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, to both educate
people
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and prevent them from committing crimes, being well-informed about the offenders' profiles is indispensable. In conclusion,
although
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a secret in the background may benefit criminals and help them to remake their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, the
residents
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should still
be acknowledged
Wrong verb form
acknowledge
show examples
this
Linking Words
information because it can restrain and minimise the tendency of
crime
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by songvangproduce on

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task response
The essay adequately addresses the topic and presents relevant arguments. Ensure to provide clear examples and ideas to support the arguments further.
coherence cohesion
Improve the use of transition words and ensure a clearer link between sentences and paragraphs. The conclusion should summarise the main points more effectively.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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