Some people believe that the personal information of violent criminals should be made available to the public. Others think that this information should be protected. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is a common belief that the background of violent villains should be confidential from society.
However
, a more persuasive argument is that the residents
had better be informed of that information. This
is because it can raise people
's awareness of the possibilities of crime
.
On the one hand, some people
believe that keeping personal information secret will give violent offenders chances to rebuild their own life
. When few individuals have the biography of the criminals, they will no longer be status-discriminated when reintegrating into society. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
According to
some recent research, over 90% of villains whose profiles were protected from the public said that they had no problem with the residents
and become better since they left the prison. As a result
, they are more optimistic about their future and give up committing crimes again.
Nevertheless
, it is more advisable to expose the biography of violent criminals to each citizen to give them a wake-up call about the crime
. By publishing the private background
of the offenders, the government may help Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
people
realize the worst perspectives to avoid. For example
, in Vietnam, all of the criminal cases of violence are broadcast to the residents
so that no more crime
about
Change preposition
apply
this
occurs and the society is always peaceful. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Therefore
, to both educate people
and prevent them from committing crimes, being well-informed about the offenders' profiles is indispensable.
In conclusion, although
a secret in the background may benefit criminals and help them to remake their life
, the Fix the agreement mistake
lives
residents
should still be acknowledged
Wrong verb form
acknowledge
this
information because it can restrain and minimise the tendency of crime
.Submitted by songvangproduce on
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task response
The essay adequately addresses the topic and presents relevant arguments. Ensure to provide clear examples and ideas to support the arguments further.
coherence cohesion
Improve the use of transition words and ensure a clearer link between sentences and paragraphs. The conclusion should summarise the main points more effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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