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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Public places are noisy. What are the causes of this and what do you think should be done about it?

#places
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Nowadays, there are a
lot
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 of public neighbourhoods
such
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 as coffee, restaurants, parks, universities,and a company that the person of time have been increasing so, we can see plenty of fields that are crowded
therefore
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 if we pay attention, we will understand that
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 places there are many bustles
then
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 , I think in the public city ,there is a
lot
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 of
noise
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. If you know with plenty of places you can see there are very big and exist a
lot
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 of
people
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 that try to have a relationship with each other
therefore
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 they talk together and some
people
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 try to have a good time in a public place and a group of
people
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 try to sell their things so they made a low sound to introduce their productions in , a fact I think if the number of society increases, it will cause
noise
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. For ,example if we regarded the company as a public place, we will check what is the cause of the
noise
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 and how it can be controlled. in the company there are many employees that work with each other to improve their science so, they need to have a good relationship with each other and teach many things together and have a good community until they can make a team with each other and go a project and learning new things. in
this
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 ,prosses there produces a
lot
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 of
noise
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 and if you want to control these noises you can divide them into smaller groups. Another example park is a public place.In the park there are plenty of
people
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 that they make happy and go to a picnic in the park they go in nature and play with each other and society speak together and laugh together so, they make loud and if you want to reduce
this
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 sound you can grow
this
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 places.
As a result
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, I think if increase in the number of communities,
Use synonyms
noise
Add an article
the noise
show examples
 will make much.
Submitted by zahratoroghiofficial on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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