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Band 4.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals
Decreasment
Correct your spelling
Decreasing
 in the population of some creatures is a matter of concern for some individuals,
whereas
 others believe that there are more sophisticated difficulties in the living world. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both viewpoints to reach a logical conclusion. With regard to the extinction of some animals and plants, people argue that
this
 is not the actual case to be disquiet about.
Firstly
, they think that
humans
 are the most important beings on the planet and everything must be done to ensure human survival.
Therefore
, nothing is suffering until it
makes
Verb problem
has
show examples
 significant effects on mankind.
In addition
, the supporters of
this
 belief argue that there are higher devastating dangers that
threats
Replace the word
threaten
show examples
humans
 which would need experts to intervene in them rather than any other non-human problems.
For example
, they have to be more worried about disasters
such
 as drought or water shortage which would result in
making
Verb problem
having
show examples
 a destructive influence on
humans
.
However
, I do not believe these arguments stand up to scrutiny. The first reason is that our life is
completey
Correct your spelling
completely
 linked to our mother nature and the continuation of it is intrinsically connected to other creatures.
Additionally
, nature experts believe that if an animal
died
Wrong verb form
dies
show examples
 out, it can
make
Verb problem
have
show examples
 many consequences on both
ecosystem
Correct article usage
the ecosystem
show examples
 and
humans
 and can easily ruin many other lives.
On the other hand
, by bringing safety to every kind of living, the future can see them as we did.
Therefore
, letting a particular species of animals and plants go extinct is not an adequate argument.
To conclude
,
although
 some people argue that life of the living is not the case, I would argue that there is sufficient evidence to illustrate that
this
 is a substantial problem.
Therefore
, the right decision must be taken in order to bring brighter days and
future
Correct article usage
a future
show examples
 for all in the world.
Submitted by m.defaee1 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the overall structure and coherence of the essay by organizing the ideas in a more logical and sequential manner.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay effectively addresses all parts of the prompt and provides relevant examples to support the arguments. Additionally, focus on providing a clear and comprehensive response to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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