The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.

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The graph illustrates information about free-time activities that

mostly

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are mostly

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chosen by Australian youngsters.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is apparent that watching TV or videos is the most popular activity for both gender categories,

while

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it seems skateboarding or rollerblading held the least on that list. At the outset,

due to

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the outcomes, almost all the

boys

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and

girls

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, aged 5-14, had shown the same result for spending their time

through

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apply

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wartching

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watching

TV or

video-clips

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video clips

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Secondly

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, the number of

boys

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outnumbered

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apply

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the percentages of

girls

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(about 20 %) for some break activities,

such

Linking Words

as riding a bike and electronic or video games.

On the other hand

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, when it comes to art and craft, the

quantity

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number

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girls

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(just below 60 %) outweighed the

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boys

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number of boys

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Moreover

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, skateboarding or

roller blading

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rollerblading

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had been considered the least

preferrable

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preferable

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choice as an activity for

boys

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(just below 10%) and

girls

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(over 20%).

shabnam.aghayevaTue Aug 01 2023

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

146 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

leisure activities
favored
noteworthy trends
disparities
participating
popularity
demographics
speculating
surprising findings
technological advancements
societal changes
promotional efforts
educational planning
balanced lifestyle

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The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Everyday people suffer from illness related to stress. what are the causes and what could be the solutions.

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play video games. What are the positive and negative impacts of playing video games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

Health and fitness levels of children and teenagers are declining these days. Therefore, physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?