More and more people are using the internet to contact existing friends and even make new friends. Some people are of the opinion that this has strengthened relationships between existing friends, whilst others think the opposite is true. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays, people are using the
internet
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to keep in touch with their
friends
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and loved ones
, some
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. Some
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believe that
this
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trend has made the relationships much stronger than before,
while
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others claim that
this
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has
weaken
Wrong verb form
weakened
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the real
contact
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between
friends
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. I would support the first aspect for several reasons.
Firstly
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, in
this
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modern era, people are struggling to get spare time to spend with their families, relatives, or even their
friends
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;
therefore
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, technology has played a crucial role in gathering individuals even
viritualy
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virtually
.
For example
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, if someone wants to check on his
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friends
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friends,
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all he has to do is
to
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apply
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open his cell phone and make a video call with them
even
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, even
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if they are miles away.
Secondly
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, some employees who work overseas can always get in touch with their families.
Moreover
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, those who suffer from loneliness can create new
friends
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through out
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throughout
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the
internet
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.
For instance
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, dating apps have become so popular among youth for the same reasons.
On the other hand
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, those who are against
this
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trend would argue that the real
contact
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is worthy
no
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, no
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matter how
it
Correct word choice
easy it
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has become so easy to stay in
contact
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throughout the
internet
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.
For example
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, the physical
contact
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between partners is the real meaning of passion and love;
therefore
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, if we lose
this
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concept in our relationships, we would never feel satisfied.
Moreover
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, some vulnerable individuals are prone to
exploiting
Wrong verb form
being exploited
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by scammers who can use the
internet
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connection to fake
relationship
Correct article usage
a relationship
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or love.
Finally
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, the lack of human communication may lead to some mental illnesses
such
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as alzheimer. In conclusion,
this
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trend has created many advantages for individuals and made communication easier;
however
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, we should be aware
and
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of and
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always value human
contact
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grammar
Improve grammar and sentence form; many errors affect clarity.
content
Add more clear and full ideas in each paragraph; explain points with details.
vocabulary
Check spellings and wrong word uses (e.g., 'viritualy', 'alzheimer').
coherence
Use varied sentence lengths and linking words to smooth flow between ideas.
structure
Follow task rules: give a clear stance in the intro and wrap up with a strong, clear conclusion.
opinion
The writer states a clear opinion.
content
Good to give examples like video calls and overseas work to show why the view is true.
structure
There is a clear plan with an intro, two body paragraphs and a conclusion.
content
Some useful points are shown about the effect of on-line talk on loneliness and dating apps.
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