IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #phones #places #libraries #shops #transport
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There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the fact that it is advisable to prohibit cell
phones
Use synonyms
 in public places namely libraries, shops and public transport. In my opinion, I would contend that I do not have a consensus with
this
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 statement. Apparently, hand-held
phones
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 are gradually becoming
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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of
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apply
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indispensable
Add an article
the indispensable
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 things in
people
Use synonyms
’s lives in
this
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 day and age so
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 should not be banned.
Phones
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 are multi-functional and have myriads of essential features
such
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 as financial apps, social media platforms, and so on.
Therefore
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, if
people
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 can no longer make use of mobile
phones
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, it will be a sheer convenience. To illustrate, in China, paying money through online banking apps on the
phones
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 is widespread nowadays even to the point that numerous stores in
this
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 country do not receive money in cash. For that reason, prohibiting
people
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 from using
phones
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 may act as a disturbance in their daily lives.
Hence
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, mobile
phones
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 should not be banned in public areas
such
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 as shops.
While
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 the fundamental applications that
phones
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 bring about are widely acknowledged,
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 assistance in emergency circumstances is noteworthy as well.
This
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 is because
people
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 are facing a wealth of dangers
as well as
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 undesirable accidents nowadays, so
the
Correct article usage
apply
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timely help from police stations or hospitals is extremely
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
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.
For instance
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, when someone is being followed by strangers or a salesperson detects a shoplifter, it is convenient to report to the police by mobile
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phones
Fix the agreement mistake
phone
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.
As a consequence
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, hand-held
phones
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 play a vital role in saving
people
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 from dangerous situations and
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
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 happenings by accident in public,
thus
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,
this
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 device had better not be banned. In conclusion, I believe that imposing a ban
from
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on
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 using mobile
phones
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 in public areas like libraries, public transport and shops is not reasonable owing to
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
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 reasons.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Etiquette
  • Tranquility
  • Prohibit
  • Intrusive
  • Courtesy
  • Essential communication
  • Public decorum
  • Designated areas
  • Safety concerns
  • Noise pollution
  • Digital etiquette
  • Enforcement measures
  • Civic responsibility
  • Silent mode
  • Connectivity
  • Invasiveness
  • Social norms
  • Policy implementation
  • Moderation
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