IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #phones #places #libraries #shops #transport
There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the fact that it is advisable to prohibit cell
phones
 in public places namely libraries, shops and public transport. In my opinion, I would contend that I do not have a consensus with
this
 statement. Apparently, hand-held
phones
 are gradually becoming
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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of
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apply
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indispensable
Add an article
the indispensable
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 things in
people
’s lives in
this
 day and age so
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should not be banned.
Phones
 are multi-functional and have myriads of essential features
such
 as financial apps, social media platforms, and so on.
Therefore
, if
people
 can no longer make use of mobile
phones
, it will be a sheer convenience. To illustrate, in China, paying money through online banking apps on the
phones
 is widespread nowadays even to the point that numerous stores in
this
 country do not receive money in cash. For that reason, prohibiting
people
 from using
phones
 may act as a disturbance in their daily lives.
Hence
, mobile
phones
 should not be banned in public areas
such
 as shops.
While
 the fundamental applications that
phones
 bring about are widely acknowledged,
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 assistance in emergency circumstances is noteworthy as well.
This
 is because
people
 are facing a wealth of dangers
as well as
 undesirable accidents nowadays, so
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
timely help from police stations or hospitals is extremely
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
.
For instance
, when someone is being followed by strangers or a salesperson detects a shoplifter, it is convenient to report to the police by mobile
phones
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phone
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.
As a consequence
, hand-held
phones
 play a vital role in saving
people
 from dangerous situations and
unfavorable
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unfavourable
show examples
 happenings by accident in public,
thus
,
this
 device had better not be banned. In conclusion, I believe that imposing a ban
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 using mobile
phones
 in public areas like libraries, public transport and shops is not reasonable owing to
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
 reasons.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Etiquette
  • Tranquility
  • Prohibit
  • Intrusive
  • Courtesy
  • Essential communication
  • Public decorum
  • Designated areas
  • Safety concerns
  • Noise pollution
  • Digital etiquette
  • Enforcement measures
  • Civic responsibility
  • Silent mode
  • Connectivity
  • Invasiveness
  • Social norms
  • Policy implementation
  • Moderation
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