IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It has been argued that it is better to allocate much more governmental budgets
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
railways
Change the noun form
railway
show examples
 systems in comparison with
roads
Use synonyms
.I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and through
examples
Add a comma
,examples
show examples
 I will justify my opinion. It is totally beneficial that government should spend money on
railways
Use synonyms
 to provide more convenient means of public transportation.the first positive
imoact
Correct your spelling
impact
 of
this
Linking Words
measurment
Correct your spelling
measurement
 relates to its safety.Because travelling via train is a well-known mode of commuting among nations.Not only it gives much more convenience to passengers , but
also
Linking Words
 the cost is pretty affordable.So more people tend to utilize
this
Linking Words
 way of transporting .
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 demands for
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 system will be increased.
For example
Linking Words
, in my town ,Tehran,
subway
Add an article
the subway
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 system has been providing thousands of trips a day and an upward trend regarding using
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
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 has
witnessed
Add a missing verb
been witnessed
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.
In addition
Linking Words
 ,railway systems would have less detrimental effects on
Correct article usage
the environmen
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environmen
Correct your spelling
environment
.There are plenty of trains across my country which use solar energy as an alternative .
Definitely
Add a comma
,Definitely
show examples
 less carbon emission ,
less
Correct word choice
and less
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 carbon dioxide will harm our planet.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
however
Linking Words
,there are some drawbacks in terms of spending public money on
railways
Use synonyms
.obviously, owing to
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of coverage of
this
Linking Words
 system ,some areas across the cities and countries might not have the
privilage
Correct your spelling
privilege
 of utilizing
this
Linking Words
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
.Basically,
due to
Linking Words
 some geographical
circumstances
Add a comma
,circumstances
show examples
 it is impossible to expand
railways
Use synonyms
 in certain areas.
Hence
Linking Words
 it mountainous
regiongs
Correct your spelling
regions
,mostly located in
western
Add an article
the western
show examples
 part of my country,
for example
Linking Words
,
residentshave
Correct your spelling
residents have
 no access to trains at all.
Therefore
Linking Words
 it is essential to provide
roads
Use synonyms
 in those certain areas.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
roads
Use synonyms
 are the best option for those individuals tending to travel and transfer via their private vehicles.Because
the belive
Correct your spelling
they believe
show examples
 that it is time-consuming to use trains and they consider it as a futile
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
. In conclusion , based on
Correct article usage
the insreasing
show examples
insreasing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 trend of a certain region government should come to
conclusion
Correct article usage
the conclusion
show examples
 whether
expansion
Add an article
the expansion
an expansion
show examples
 of
railways
Use synonyms
 is
crutial
Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
 or
roads
Use synonyms
.I personally believe that
roads
Use synonyms
 are the first
individuals
Change to a genitive case
individual's
individuals'
show examples
 preference in terms of commuting and
that is
Linking Words
 why
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should spend money on
roads
Use synonyms
.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • environmental footprint
  • efficiency
  • pollution
  • cost-effectiveness
  • economic development
  • accessibility
  • public transportation
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • initial investment
  • maintenance
  • upgrades
  • rural
  • urban
  • last-mile connectivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: