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Band 6

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career , while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school . Dicuss both views and give your opinion .

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school #dicuss
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It is argued that the best way to succeed is going to effort immediately after leaving school
whereas
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 others think that it is preferable to pursue higher culture . It is the opinion of
this
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 writer that the latter choice is the best option . There can be no doubt
that is
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 the prime purpose opt to enter the workforce at night after school and
then
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 enrol on
further
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 improvement . From my point of view , you will become more mature and independent because of the perception of society, in general, earlier than others . By the same token earn money rapidly
while
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 it will underpaid . On top of that , you do not have opportunities for decent job occupations so you just work semi-skills work .
Thus
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 , they will have financial pressure
due to
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people
Use synonyms
 having an obligation to earn enough expenditure to spend for their cost of living .
As well as
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 , you may be unemployed until get into debt . It will be arduous for young
people
Use synonyms
 who do not have enough experience to look after their selves . Alternatively , if you prefer to attend tertiary improvement , you will have a prospective career path and stand a greater chance of landing a well-earned assignment . It is crucial that a host of
people
Use synonyms
 have high-paid occupations because of the training to cultivate relevant job skills still in university .
Moreover
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 , they can have lifelong friends when you can be built a lot of friendships, and gather
people
Use synonyms
 to expand your social life . Having said that , sometimes may appear work pressure but ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 it improves their career ladder.
As well as
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 they can have a steady income and
thus
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 do not worry about being employed . The majority of
people
Use synonyms
 in the world have decent jobs, be business or be succeed
also
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 graduated with a first degree . On the whole , I would choose enroll to in higher education rather than get a job right after high school to succeed.
Hence
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 ,
this
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 essay shows all my opinion about
this
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 statement .
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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