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Band 4.5

Student should spent time working before begining thier University studies.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#student #time #thier #university #studies
Some people believe that
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
 should do
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
jobs
 before starting
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 University college . It
is agree
Change the verb form
is agreed
show examples
 by some
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 that should
be spend
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 some hours
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working,
therefore
this
wirter
Correct your spelling
writer
 will show the
agree
Replace the word
agreement
show examples
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 opinion. It is vital to understand that children who almost come to University should
be allow
Change the verb form
be allowed
show examples
 to find some
jobs
 to grind money before going to University .Because the experience and life skill that they get from
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 work is
such
 as important , it will
absulotly
Correct your spelling
absolutely
 turn them into an adult.
Moreover
,as you can see when
student
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
time
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
jobs
 the money they
grinding
Wrong verb form
grind
show examples
 is very helpful to
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 school fee and help
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 parent a lot in
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 life . For
common
Correct article usage
a common
show examples
 example in Germany
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
 who spent more days
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 more
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
 than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children who don't do
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
jobs
. Another point worth
consideration
Replace the word
considering
show examples
 is that
student
 who has a job can easy in finding
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 dream and
following
Wrong verb form
follow
show examples
 that dream . If they find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
suitable
jobs
 for them soon , they can choose the subjects that fit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
jobs
 and focus on learning and training with the lesson . What is
more
Add a comma
,more
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
 soon I think they can be good at communicating and have more skill to dealing or presentation with crowded better than normal
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 so that when they grow up they will help
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 parents and the community a lot .
Inconclution
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
 it is very helpful and necessary to
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 do
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
jobs
 soon.Because everyone will respect them more .
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
i'm
Change the capitalization
I'm
show examples
surely
Change the word
sure
show examples
 they can follow and go through with
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 dream and have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 life than the other students.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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