IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart compares 7 various factories that utilize ground and public water supply in a country. Data are expressed in millions of cubic meters.

The bar chart compares 7 various factories that utilize ground and public water supply in a country. Data are expressed in millions of cubic meters.
#bar #factories #ground #water #country #data #millions #meters
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph presents data on the amount of
water
Use synonyms
 both in the forms of
Use synonyms
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 or supplied by the public used in 7 different sectors of a country's economy.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Ground
Correct your spelling
Groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 is the main source of
water
Use synonyms
 supply for
Fuel
Correct article usage
the Fuel
show examples
, Metal, Chemicals, Paper, and Textiles
industry
Fix the agreement mistake
industries
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
 the other 2 sectors (Foods/Drinks and Machinery) mainly consume public supply
water
Use synonyms
. Starting from the industries which are in most parts relied on
Use synonyms
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
. Chemicals use the highest amount of
Use synonyms
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 resources among the others with 430
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cubic meters
while
Linking Words
 remaining
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the highest consumer of public supply
water
Use synonyms
 with 240
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. With 240
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, Metal is the second highest consumer of
Use synonyms
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 with only 90
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cubic
water
Use synonyms
 in public supply usage.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
Paper
Correct article usage
the Paper
show examples
 business is in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third place of
Use synonyms
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 consumption:
190
Change preposition
with 190
show examples
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 usage compared to only 20
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in public supply meaning that
Paper
Correct article usage
the Paper
show examples
 industry has the highest gap between
Use synonyms
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 use and Public supply consumption. Textiles and Fuel are
consequtively
Correct your spelling
consecutively
 at the next places with 80
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 compared to 10
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in public supply and 70
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 compared to 10
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in public supply, respectively. Turning to sectors with more usage of public supply, Food/Drinks consume 190
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 generate publicly and 110
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 resources.
Finally
Linking Words
, Mechinary
consume
Change the verb form
consumes
show examples
 100
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cubic
water
Use synonyms
 compared to 10
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 resources.
Submitted by sajadtorab on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, ground, millions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: