As compared to the past, people spend more years in school and enter the workforce much later in life. Describe some of the problems entering the workforce later in life can cause and suggest at least one possible solution.
A few generations ago, it was not uncommon to find people entering the workforce after grade 6. Today,
however
, the situation is such
that often people transition into their professional careers in their late twenties. This
trend has resulted in several problems, among which is the growing financial dependence on parents
and the artificial extension of childhood. One possible solution is to change the entry requirements for several professional degree programs.
Entering the workforce later in life than in the past can cause several problems. One major problem is the prolonged financial dependence on parents
. The longer children stay in school and the later they enter their professions, the longer it is that parents
will need to pay for their living expenses. This
is particularly problematic because child tax benefits end when a child turns 18. In addition
, because children are not financially independent until later in life, they will not be as mature as early as their counterparts in previous generations. The possible consequences of such
an extension of childhood might be an increase in rates of delinquency in segments of the population.
One way to solve the quandary brought about by individuals entering their professions later in life is to alter the requirements to enter certain professional programs. In many countries, prospective medical, law, and pharmacy students need to first acquire an undergraduate degree, which usually takes 4 years to complete. By eliminating this
requirement, prospective doctors, lawyers, and pharmacists will be able to start practising 4 years earlier, allowing them to become financially independent and mature earlier.
All in all, the delay in entering the workforce has had two major repercussions: prolonged financial dependence on parents
and delayed maturity. These problems may be partially addressed by changing the requirements to enter certain professional programs of study.Submitted by sth.kumar2010 on
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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is mostly clear, but there are instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. Ensure that the progression of ideas is smooth and logical throughout the essay. Use transition words and phrases to link sentences and paragraphs effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more impactful. Try to engage the reader from the beginning by providing a captivating introduction. The conclusion should leave a lasting impression and summarize the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The main points in the essay are generally well supported with relevant examples and explanations. Ensure that each main point is thoroughly developed and that the examples provided are specific and illustrative.
task achievement
The response addresses all parts of the task prompt, providing a clear and relevant discussion. Ensure that all aspects of the question are addressed in a comprehensive manner, and consider different perspectives when discussing the topic.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear, relevant, and well-supported with specific examples. Ensure that the discussion is comprehensive and covers all relevant aspects of the topic in depth.
task achievement
The examples provided effectively support the main points and add depth to the discussion. Ensure that the examples are specific and illustrate the main points clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.