IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar chart compares 7 various factories that utilize ground and public water supply in a country. Data are expressed in millions of cubic meters.

The bar chart compares 7 various factories that utilize ground and public water supply in a country. Data are expressed in millions of cubic meters.
#bar #factories #ground #water #country #data #millions #meters
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The chart illustrates 7 different factories that produce
ground
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groundwater
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water
 and public supply in a state.
Overall
,
ground
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groundwater
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water
 has a significant lead in most factories,
although
 food\drinks and machinery favouring public supply.Chemicals are being produced in large quantities compared to other companies.
To begin
 with, the least supplies being manufactured are Fuel, Textiles, and Machinery.With 70 fuels for
ground
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groundwater
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water
, 10 for public supply , 80 for Textiles in
ground
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groundwater
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water
 ,and a low 10 for public supply.
However
, machinery unlike the other two has a massive 100 for public supply and a small 10 for
ground
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groundwater
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water
. Moving on to larger factories,chemicals, metal ,foods and drinks, and
lastly
 paper . Starting with the highest in production chemicals have a wild 430 for
ground
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groundwater
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water
 ,
also
 a 240 for public supply.Metal has a number of 240 for
ground
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groundwater
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water
 , with a low 90 for public supply. Foods and drinks
on
Add the comma(s)
,on
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 the other hand , have a larger 190 in public supply, to a quite close 110 to
ground
water
.
Finally
 paper has a huge gap between
ground
water
 and public supply with a 190 to 20 difference.
Submitted by hmody_b on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ground, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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