IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

■The chart below give information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. ■Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

■The chart below give information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. ■Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#■the #information #percentage #british #people #money #charity #age #range #years #■summarise #features #comparisons
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The chart illustrates the percentage of British
people
Change noun form
people's
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 expenditure
to
Change preposition
on
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charity
Use synonyms
 by age range for the years between 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total amount of money
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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spent on
charity
Use synonyms
 in 1990 is much higher than that in 2010. The age that spent
highest
Change the article
the highest
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 expenditure is
from
Change preposition
apply
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36-50 years old. A deep analysis of the bar chart provided reveals the first three groups
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spending
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charity
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
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 1990 are higher than
2010
Change preposition
in 2010
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. Especially the 18-25
ages
Use synonyms
 are three times more with around 6% and approximately 17% perspective. Followed by the 36-50
ages
Use synonyms
 groups, spending
most
Add an article
the most
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 money with about 41% in 1990 and 35% in 2010 From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is evident that the amount of money that
spent
Add a missing verb
is spent
show examples
 on
charity
Use synonyms
 of 51-65 and 65+ age people are figure remaining constant. The data give the information that the 51-65
Use synonyms
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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 spending percentage is 35% in 1990 and approximately 40% in 2010. The 65+
Use synonyms
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
also
Linking Words
 has
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same data with around 31% in 1990 and 35% in 2010.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words charity, ages with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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