These days more and more people are making the choice to go to university. While some people are of the opinion that the only purpose of university education is to improve job prospects, others think that society and the individual benefit in much boarder ways.

#people #choice #university #purpose #education #job #prospects #society #benefit #boarder

Nowadays, the new generation attends university because they want to fulfil their dream and work in the career that they desire.

Whereas

the other side criticizes that their purpose is to increase job prospects. I agree with both sides. On one hand, fulfilling our target is the primary purpose that an individual is keen on achieving,

therefore

, applying for a university is one of the new generation's desires because the benefit from education is higher than the expectation.

For instance

, someone receives the connection and the experience from

such

a period of life.

Furthermore

, it is quite obvious that the appearance of a variety of personalities will exist in

this

period, so, dealing with individuals is going to be a fantastic ability that pupils achieve.

On the other hand

, there is the opinion that the only purpose of

high

Correct word choice

higher

show examples

education is to improve job prospects. The professors revealed that most popular organizations require a high profile.

This

might force the professional applicant to attend a famous university because the

chance

Fix the agreement mistake

chances

show examples

will be increased.

however

, graduating from abroad and knowing a third language will automatically enhance the opportunity

of getting

Change preposition

to get

show examples

into the profession.

For example

, the applicants can use more than three languages and graduate from abroad. The human

resource

Fix the agreement mistake

resources

show examples

and the owner will seriously consider accepting and hiring these applicants to become their employees. In conclusion, the effect of education depends on their own perspective because we cannot genuinely understand others,

hence

, everyone has their own path and way to complete.

Submitted by amittawin on Thu Aug 03 2023

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Task Response

The essay is generally relevant to the task, but there is some lack of focus on the purpose of university education. More specific examples to support the points would improve the task response.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is unclear. It lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, and the supporting points are not well connected. The essay would benefit from a clearer organization of ideas and a stronger introduction and conclusion.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary and attempts to express ideas, but there are many instances of unclear or awkward phrasing. More precise and varied vocabulary would improve the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range

The essay demonstrates a reasonable control of grammar and sentence structure, but there are some errors and awkward phrases present. Pay attention to sentence structure and word choice to improve grammatical range.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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These days more and more people are making the choice to go to university. While some people are of the opinion that the only purpose of university education is to improve job prospects, others think that society and the individual benefit in much boarder ways.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The practice of illegally hunting wild animals continues to cause concern in many countries, particularly developing countries. What are the causes of such hunting? What are the effects on the animals, and on the wider human society in these countries and beyond?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?