IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#families #children #schools #taxes #support #education #system
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By the
Change preposition
The
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 thinking
of
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apply
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that households should not be inquired to pay taxes supporting the
state
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 system is
narrow
Add an article
a narrow
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 perspective. And
this
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 essay will be discussed
about
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apply
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this
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 statement and put the
lights
Fix the agreement mistake
light
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about
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on
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 it.
To begin
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 with, the allocation of taxation paid from the parents who prefer their offspring to attend
the
Correct article usage
apply
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private schools can take
the
Correct article usage
a
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 great way to not only the future of
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
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 system but
also
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 different sections of
the
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apply
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society and the
state
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such
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 as health, welfare and livelihood by contributing to invest these sectors.
For instance
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,
according to
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 the research in London,
2020
Add a comma
,2020
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 the health rate of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 in
this
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 city saw a dramatic growth by spending tax disbursements from
education
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 to improve the condition
public
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of public
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 health sections and bring the modern advanced technologies from the other countries in the world. Meanwhile, the transaction that the
education
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 tax must be spent to provide the scientists, genies in researching knowledge areas all necessities and encourage them to find solutions to the problems with the painful points of the society should be signed the body of the govern in the countries. In that sense,
the
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apply
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supporting the people who work for the development of the government at any
branches
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branch
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 of that can play a vital role
to
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in
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 better living and lifestyles. Behind
this
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state
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, citizens can gain the life
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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they want and
the
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their
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 productivity of them can increase high.
In addition
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, the government may face
the
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apply
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difficulty how to calculate the expense of
the
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apply
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education
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 and sometimes can allocate
the
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apply
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funds which not
inadequate
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adequate
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 sufficient because the
state
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 doesn’t have enough money.
In
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At
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this
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 time, the taxation from
education
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 can solve the issue.
To sum up
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. I completely disagree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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parents shouldn’t pay
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
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 in private schools. Because of
this
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 trend, the country can be led
some
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to some
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 serious problems mentioned above.
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tax exemption
  • public education
  • private schools
  • collective responsibility
  • societal welfare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • social cohesion
  • tax credits
  • vouchers
  • subsidies
  • state-funded
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public vs. private sector
  • quality of education
What to do next:
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