Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?
Many
people
consider that televisions and games
on computers have influenced
a negative effect on Verb problem
apply
the
society above their harshness, Correct article usage
apply
while
some others argue regarding
these problems have no significant influence on individuals' habits. I believe the statements that state any electronic media has bad effects on the community.
On the one hand, it cannot be denied that technology has helped Change preposition
that
people
to fill their spare time, so watching television and playing some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
video
games
can reduce individuals' stress which has gathered. For example
, some elders who have retired and no longer have activities, commonly, they
fill their free time by consuming attractive dramas or movies which can entertain in order to keep fit and their mental health. Correct pronoun usage
apply
In addition
, playing some video
games
on gadgets for children this
activity it is not only as
Change preposition
apply
entertainment
but Replace the word
entertaining
also
can enhance their skills to solve problems that appear in video
games
. Therefore
, problems solving
skills will be very useful for provision when they are growing up.
Correct your spelling
problem-solving
On the other hand
, Many channels are not responsible for their shows since they are only considering the movies that have been provided to gather as many viewers and the providers do not give quality shows in which quality shows can educate people
, and the impact will make people
to be more clever. Furthermore
, despite the benefits of playing video
games
, there are many disadvantages if we allow kids to enjoy playing games
excessively. Moreover
, Addiction sources are not only from drugs, but through video
games
the addiction can infect the children who do it irresponsibly. Thus
, essential tasks will be abandoned by the kids, such
as homework, studying, and playing with peers.
In conclusion, there are many advantages and disadvantages by
doing activities like watching television and playing Change preposition
to
games
. I believe that anything that is
done in excess will bring bad effects, so people
need to do it wisely.Submitted by iqiqbalbal14 on
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task response
The essay lacks a clear and focused argument. It should clearly present the writer's opinion on the impact of violence in television and computer games on society.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and coherence. The body paragraphs also lack cohesive progression of ideas.