Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

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It is believed in many cases that

music

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can bring

people

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from every culture and

age

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together. I totally agree with

this

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statement

due to

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the reasons which will be

further

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discussed in the paragraphs. On the one hand,

music

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is one of the identity elements of any culture which has been vital for the survival of different civilizations throughout history. In the past each country and different regions of a single country used to have specific musical instruments and a specified variety of harmonies that have led to specific characteristics of regional compositions.

For example

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, in Iran, there are numerous different cultures that contribute to the rich heritage of traditional

music

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and preserving these treasures has led to the existence of a number of national ceremonies throughout the year that gather

people

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from all corners of the country.

On the other hand

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, because of the nature of

music

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which can be performed and listened to by anyone and in any place,

this

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has made it easy to enjoy and interfere with

people

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from different

age

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groups all around the world. By way of example, a survey by Oxford has confirmed the ability to dance to

music

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that has been witnessed in little children from a very early

age

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and

this

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proves that the enjoyment of a piece of harmony is possible for all humans regardless of their

age

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or even nationality.

To sum up

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music

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has brought

people

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together for ages and different cultures or

age

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gap has not been a barrier against

this

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matter,

nonetheless

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, the maintaining of cultural and regional

music

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is an important issue to be considered by every generation.

Submitted by TUTOO on Thu Aug 03 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion could be more developed and provide a clearer structure for the essay.

task achievement

Provide more specific and diverse examples to support your main points.

lexical resource

Vary your vocabulary and use more precise and specific language.

grammatical range

Work on improving your sentence structures and grammatical accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5

8.5

Logical structure

7.5

Introduction & conclusion present

7.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

7.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

7.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

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