IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about it?

#countries #level #crime #crimes
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There are
increasing
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increase
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 in the
level
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 of
crimes
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 in some countries
as well as
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crimes
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 are being more violent. In my view that causes are
people
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 and of
course
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,course
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people
Use synonyms
 can solve that themselves. Well
first of all
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, first of all,
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 I think that
Correct article usage
the works
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works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 which
people
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 do nowadays are
cause
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the cause
a cause
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 of
increasing
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the increasing
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level
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 of crime.
For
Linking Words
example
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,example
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 A lot of
people
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 do not protect their own
sings
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signs
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 they do not use safer bags that
difficult
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are difficult
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 to open
lock
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the lock
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of
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apply
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back and some
people
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 do not
to
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apply
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lock their cars or houses.
Generally
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,Generally
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 humans use simple handles to lock their own homes.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there
are
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is
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 a lot of burglary pickpocketing and. Second of
all
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,all
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 there are a lot of disputes among the population.
As a result
Linking Words
 of disputers
people
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 become enemies and enemies can damage each other's belongings or even kill each other and kidnap each other's friends or family members in revenge.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
in
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apply
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the amount of kidnapping vandalism and arson
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 increasing the reason for the increasing fraud is that
people
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 are too gullible.
Finally
Linking Words
,the cause for the whole
crimes
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,
people
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 do not afraid of punishment because punishments
are simply feed
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are simply fed
are simply feeding
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 or many criminals are
pull
Wrong verb form
pulled
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 down.
Well
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,Well
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 reducing
crimes
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also
Linking Words
 depends on humans. If
people
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 protect their own things maybe the
level
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 of
pickocketing
Correct your spelling
pickpocketing
 and burglary will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decrease. To reduce
murdering
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murder
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 kidnapping and vandalism
people
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 do not need to fight each other and
also
Linking Words
 they need to talk kindly with others.
Then
Linking Words
 a humans maybe not dispute. It is necessary to complicate the laws and
also
Linking Words
 not to forgive many criminals if they have that
people
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 may fear to do
crime
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the crime
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 of course it
is depends
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depends
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 on
government
Correct article usage
the government
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. In
conclusion
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,conclusion
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 we say that increasing the
level
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 of
crimes
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 and decreasing the amount of
crimes
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 depends on population and government.
Submitted by islomov1229 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rate
  • violent crimes
  • socioeconomic factors
  • law enforcement
  • technology
  • education
  • employment
  • drug abuse
  • alcohol abuse
  • poverty
  • inequality
  • effectiveness
  • investing
  • job creation
  • social support
  • community engagement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: