IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

#people #cities #search #life #city #difficulties #governments
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 are looking at
cities
Use synonyms
 as a place to grow, but living in
cities
Use synonyms
 comprises some burdens as well. My own view,
however
Linking Words
, is that governments can do much more to help
cities
Use synonyms
' citizens. A multitude of difficulties can be cited about living in megalopolises, one of which could be
air
Use synonyms
 pollution. To be more precise, in searching for better occupational opportunities, many
people
Use synonyms
 come to large
cities
Use synonyms
, and
therefore
Linking Words
, the number of cars increases, which undoubtedly results in producing exhaust fumes.
As a consequence
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 in large
cities
Use synonyms
 usually have to cope with
air
Use synonyms
 pollution. Perhaps another hardship of living in a metropolis is its household expenses.
In other words
Linking Words
, due primarily to the lots of requests for renting or buying houses, the price of houses usually has an upward trend. Not only that but
also
Linking Words
 because of transportation expenses,
people
Use synonyms
 often have to buy goods at higher prices than suburbs. The above arguments notwithstanding, governments could offer several potential solutions to untangle or at least reduce the aforementioned difficulties. One possible approach could be offering better public services. In broad terms, with higher-quality public transportation, probably,
people
Use synonyms
 would use these
instead
Linking Words
 of their cars;
hence
Linking Words
, the chance of having better
air
Use synonyms
 to breathe would definitely increase. By way of example,
due to
Linking Words
 the proper public transportation in London, the
air
Use synonyms
 quality is still high, even with the large number of
people
Use synonyms
 living there. Another possible consideration is increasing the production of goods. In doing
this
Linking Words
, not only would
people
Use synonyms
 be able to buy products easier, but they could
also
Linking Words
 save money in order to buy or rent houses. In conclusion, even though living in megalopolises is endowed with some obstacles, my firm conviction is that governments are able to mitigate these problems by adopting appropriate solutions.
Submitted by mahdieh.zkr765 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Metropolis
  • Rapid urban growth
  • Megacity
  • Urban sprawl
  • Housing affordability
  • Infrastructure development
  • Public transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Pollution
  • Noise pollution
  • Green spaces
  • Job market
  • Social cohesion
  • Community engagement
  • Safety measures
  • Crime prevention
What to do next:
Look at other essays: