IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Government should focus their spending on public services rather than on arts such as music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #focus #services #arts #music
It is important to think
how
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about how
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 the
government
 spends the money. Some
people
 think that they should spend it on public
service
.
Other
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Others
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 may argue that they should spend it on arts. In my personal
opinion
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,opinion
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 I think arts are essential To
people
 as public
service
.
Firstly
, arts are important to life just as other
service
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services
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 provided by the
government
 .
This
 is because various forms and styles of
art
 like music, which help in calming
from
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apply
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stress painting, which
full
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is full
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 of colours enable us to indulge in the colourful world of the painting itself,
Furthermore
,
a
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apply
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good
art
 is an indication of how civilised and creatives the
people
 of the
country
. We can say it reflects the nature of the
country
. If the
country
 is devoid of
art
, it will indicate that its
people
 are uninvented and lack basic instincts of human nature.
On the other
hand
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,hand
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 no one can deny the importance of public services, the
government
 must allocate part of
funding
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the funding
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 to public services like enhancing the basic education, health care system and infrastructure of the
country
. But if all the spending went to public
service
, it will cause
imbalance
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an imbalance
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 in
Correct article usage
the country
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country
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country's
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 structure, taxpayers will be furious that older tax money is spent in one way only. In conclusion, it can be reiterated that
government
 is responsible for allocating part of the money to public
service
, and the other part must
goes
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go
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 to creative subjects like
art
.
This
 is to create
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 balanced society.
Submitted by islam_biologist on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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