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Writing Samples
Band 4

The table shows the amount spent on healthcare in different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the amount spent on healthcare in different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table1
Correct your spelling
Table 1
 shows the
differencies
Correct your spelling
differences
difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 spending on
Use synonyms
helthcare
Correct your spelling
health care
 per person among 8 countries in 2010. The highest spending
country
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 is Japan and the lowest spending company is
Brazil
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who live in
east
Capitalize word
East
show examples
 and
south
Capitalize word
South
show examples
east
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
asian
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spend for healthcare whish is more than 1,000
dollers
Correct your spelling
dollars
such
Linking Words
 as Japan, South
Kora
Correct your spelling
Korea
show examples
 and Singapore.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
people
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 who live in central
asian
Change the capitalization
Asian
show examples
 and south american countries spent on
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helthcare
Correct your spelling
health care
 lower than 1,000
dollers
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dollars
such
Linking Words
 as Bahrain, Kuwait, Argentina, Chile,
Use synonyms
Brazil
Correct word choice
and Brazil
show examples
. Especially, in Chile and
Brazil
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,
people
Use synonyms
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 under 500
dollers
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dollars
for
Correct your spelling
on health care
helthcare
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 for eath person. The
expediture
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expenditure
seems
Add the particle
seems to
show examples
 go up depending on economic development and population.
People
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 who live in Japan, South Korea and Singapore would have money compared with
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 in
table1
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Table 1
 and
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of
family
Add an article
a family
show examples
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 isn’t
laege
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large
.
Economic
Correct article usage
The economic
show examples
grouth
Correct your spelling
growth
 in
Brazil
Use synonyms
 is remarkable,
however
Linking Words
, the
country
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also
Linking Words
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
large
Add an article
a large
show examples
 population, that’s why
earch
Correct your spelling
each
 family wouldn’t
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 on
Use synonyms
helthcare
Correct your spelling
healthcare
 a lot for family
mebers
Correct your spelling
members
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words helthcare, country, brazil, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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