IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem?

#students #attention #school
Concentration and attention in schools are crucial for children's education and better future.
However
, nowadays, many students are struggling with these skills, making it difficult for them to focus and retain information in class. There are several reasons for
this
, and it is important to understand these causes in order to find effective solutions.
To begin
 with, the primary reason behind
this
 phenomenon is a lack of sleep. In
this
 modern era, children are engaged in after-school activities
such
 as swimming classes, dance training, music lessons and so on.
Moreover
,
due to
 these exercises, they have little time for rest and sleep, which makes them unable to concentrate on their study.
This
 can lead to sleep deprivation, which affects the brain’s ability to function and focus. A tired child is more likely to become easily distracted, forgetful, and inattentive, which can have a significant impact on their academic performance.
Submitted by simran31788 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • concentration
  • attention span
  • distractions
  • technology
  • boredom
  • tiredness
  • engagement
  • learning disabilities
  • teaching techniques
  • classroom size
  • family issues
  • health problems
  • motivational strategies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: