IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You are temporarily moving to a new city for your job. You will be there for three months, and you would like to rent some accommodation for your stay. Write to an accommodation rental office. In your letter •Tell them how long you are staying •Describe the type of accommodation you would like •Explain what facilities you will need nearby

#city #job #three #months #rent #accommodation #office #•tell #•describe #type #•explain #facilities
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to ask you about looking for accommodation in HCM city. I am going to stay in HCM city next month from 1st February till May which is three months
due to
 my job. During that time I would like to have a small apartment including a bedroom, a bathroom and a kitchen, one more thing it will be great if it has a coffee machine
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 I can drink coffee every morning. My work is located near the airport which means I want to stay near the airport in order to get to my office closer and avoid traffic jams.
Also
 if you can look for me an apartment near a supermarket, café, and movie theatre it would be suitable for me. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Trinh Ta
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure by organizing the letter into distinct paragraphs, each serving a specific purpose such as introduction, detailing accommodation needs, and describing required nearby facilities.
greeting and closing
Include a polite opening and closing. While the closing 'Yours faithfully' is correctly used following the formal 'Dear Sir or Madam,' consider using a more personal sign-off if the name of the recipient is known.
single idea per paragraph
Aim to dedicate a single paragraph for each point listed in the question prompt. This will help in maintaining focus and clarity throughout the letter.
complete response
Overall, you addressed all the parts of the task. It might be beneficial to provide more specifics about the type of apartment you desire, such as furnishings, style, or any other preferences, to fulfill the task completely.
suitable writing tone
The tone of the letter is mostly appropriate and polite, which is suitable for the context of writing to a professional accommodation rental office. It maintains formality without being overly stiff.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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