The line graph compares the employment rate in the USA and how this rate changes over the course of 8 decades starting from 1930.

The line graph compares the employment rate in the USA and how this rate changes over the course of 8 decades starting from 1930.
The line graph compares the
employment
rate
in the USA and how
this
rate
changes over the course of 8 decades starting from 1930.
Overall
, it is obvious that almost the proportion of objects in the graph increased with the exception of the industrial and other services
employment
rate
over the period of 80 years.
Moreover
, the figure for industrial
employment
was the highest in most years. In the first
year
, the
employment
of industry accounted for the largest with nearly 80%
while
that of other services was just about 10%. In the following decade, after a gradual decrease of 10% in the industrial employee
rate
in 1970, it diminished to approximately 3% by the
year
2010. In terms of the percentage of other service employees, there was a small increase of 5% in 1940, but it dropped in 1950 to the same level as it was in the beginning
year
, after which the figure
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
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off and remained relatively unchanged throughout the remainder of the period. Moving to the sales and office, technical,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
farming, fishing, and foresting
employment
rate
, they ranged from 0 to 10% in 1930. After many minor fluctuations, the figure for industrial and technical employees rose and roughly converged at 35%,
while
that of sales and office employees climbed slightly to precisely 20% in the
last
year
.
Submitted by joyce.ta213 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, rate, year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compares" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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