Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In line with the shift in time, there are growing concerns about the number of
subjects
and
knowledge
for university
students
in each course
as well as
major.
while
there are a variety of increases in
students
’ demand for adding
another
Replace the adjective
another subject
other subjects
show examples
subjects
into their main
subjects
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
partly agree with the idea that it is
also
essential to focus on studying for qualifications. On the one hand, it is no secret that in order to maintain and improve the student’s
knowledge
backgrounds, it is a need for
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
to be responsible for
help
Replace the word
helping
show examples
students
gaining
Wrong verb form
gain
show examples
more aspects of their courses by some means. the primary reason behind
this
could be the applicability of each course for post-graduate
students
in order to increase the
job seeking
Add a hyphen
job-seeking
show examples
opportunity.
Moreover
, in these modern days, there are a number of
students’
Change noun form
students
show examples
job
Correct pronoun usage
whose job
show examples
are not
relate
Wrong verb form
related
show examples
to their major, down to the fact that early adults nowadays tend to be influencers or
job
Add a missing verb
have job
show examples
that
relates
Change the verb form
relate
show examples
to digital marketing rather than vocational jobs in some ways.
however
, it is only valid
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
certain
extends
Replace the word
extent
show examples
.
on the other hand
,
students
should
also
pay a large amount of attention to their main
subjects
in order to gain a form background
knowledge
for their future jobs, it is fathomable that it is important for
students
to mainly focus on one major. it is clear to the naked
eyes
Fix the agreement mistake
eye
show examples
that paying attention to one subject could help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
to save time in gaining enough
knowledge
before applying
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
reality. on top of that,
subjects
which are
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
theorical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
subject,
such
as
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
, require
students
to study a lot. Because of that, adding more
subjects
could
left
Change the verb form
leave
show examples
students
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
mental problems,
due to
the fact that
students
could have to handle strain and stress to consume
such
a big amount of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
and information. in
another words
Replace the adjective
another word
other words
show examples
,
this
could be a drawback for
students
to attend a course that had more
subjects
involved. Having thought about
this
issue in some depth,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
have come to the conclusion that even adding more
subjects
to the main subject could help
students
to develop their
knowledge
background and flexibility in future
job
seeking
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
,
this
could be a disadvantage for
students
when it could lead to student’s mental illnesses
due to
the amount of information they have to handle.
Submitted by thucbiapluto on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: