IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Pollution and other environmental problems are resulting from a country's developing and becoming richer. Some think this can not be avoided. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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In the contemporary world, pollutants and surrounding obstacles are soaring
due to
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 a nation advancing.
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Although
Correct word choice
However
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, a section of the public believes that
this
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 trend can not be mitigated.
However
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, I would argue that conditional challenges
as well as
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 contamination can be overcome by regulation of vehicles
as well as
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 recycling of used products.
To begin
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 with, the escalation of infection and ecological issues can be curbed by controlling cars.
For example
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, the government of Ghana recently introduced free transport for its citizens
as a result
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, the vast majority of Ghanaians have ceased using their private cars because of the fast and cheaper transport introduced by the officials.
This
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 means that smoking from various vehicles has actually reduced and currently, Ghana is being counted among the countries with few pollution.
Therefore
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, there is no doubt that environmental hindrances and contaminants can not be ceased.
In addition
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,
this
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 phenomenon can be regulated by the reuse of used items.
This
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 is because ,with proper recycling of goods
such
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 as rubber, the territory will be free from pollution.
For example
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, China has adopted a process of reusing old products and
this
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 has made them to be the cleanest and free pollutant country.
This
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 implies that even though a nation can have a booming population
but
Correct word choice
apply
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with effective tackling of controlling finished goods, contamination, as well as environmental setbacks
such
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 as diseases,
such
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 as diseases can be curbed . In conclusion,
although
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 some argue that
due to
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 territory progression, not only abuse but
also
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 conditional setbacks can not be avoided.
However
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, I believe that with effective measures
such
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 as reducing transport and
reused of
Wrong verb form
reusing
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 finished items,
this
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 phenomenon can be overcome.

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coherence cohesion
Improve the connectivity between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of introduction and conclusion helps frame the essay well.
task achievement
Adequate response to the task with relevant ideas and examples.
task achievement
Good attempt at providing solutions to the presented problem.
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