IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many cities are now turning parks and farmland into new housing developments. Is this a positive or negative development?

#cities #parks #farmland #developments #development
Parks
 and farmlands offer
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
amazing
landmark
Fix the agreement mistake
landmarks
show examples
 for residents,
as well as
 lead to
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 lifestyle. A large number of cities are replacing public gardens and farmyards with new
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
. From my
viewpoint
Add a comma
,viewpoint
show examples
 its positive
impacts
 cannot overcome the negative
impacts
. To start with, public
parks
 play a crucial role in
people
's daily lives by offering a marvellous landscape. In
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
show examples
, it promotes residents to escape from their workload hours. To exemplify, after a tedious and hard work day,
people
 can delve into a
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
show examples
 depth of
parks
 or relax
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 occupying some activities in
farmland
Correct article usage
the farmland
show examples
.
Moreover
, the process of replacing play arenas and farmsteads with stunning skyscrapers and new apartments would have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 effect on the environment. It leads to
vanish
Wrong verb form
vanishing
show examples
 trees and plants,
thus
support
Wrong verb form
supporting
show examples
 to increase
Change preposition
of carbon-dioxide
show examples
carbon-dioxide
Correct your spelling
carbon dioxide
show examples
 in the air.
For instance
, by far growing of
townbuilding
Correct your spelling
town-building
town building
, after a decade we will have destroyed
biodiversity
Correct article usage
the biodiversity
show examples
 of living things.
On the other hand
, a number of
people
 prefer to live in urban cities, since it provides them with
vast
Add an article
a vast
the vast
show examples
 amount of modern apartments,
as well as
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
attracts a range of tourists.
For instance
, resting at
parks
 or farmyards can be
bored
Replace the word
boring
show examples
 for some
people
 who prefer to relax
Change preposition
in at
show examples
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 modern-designed building or
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 a high-level elevator. Tourists
also
 appreciate well-designed city projects and it supports
Add an article
the economical
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 condition of the country. In a nutshell, from my point of view, creating
green
Add an article
a green
the green
show examples
 world in your city provides you with
menthal
Correct your spelling
mental
 and physical health,
therefore
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 should be aware
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
Correct article usage
the preservance
show examples
preservance
Correct your spelling
preserving
preservice
 of public
parks
 and farmhouses,
while
 for some
people
 it has a positive effect on
renovating
Replace the word
renovation
show examples
 procedure. From my
viewpoint
Add a comma
,viewpoint
show examples
 its positive
impacts
 cannot overcome the negative
impacts
.
Submitted by shabnam.aghayeva on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: