IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Universities should accept equal number of male and female students in every subjects . to what extent do you agre or disagree

#universities #students #subjects #agre
Some of the universities around the world have seen that the college admission priority has been preferably given to the males
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 females. In doing so, it isn’t
fare
Correct your spelling
fair
show examples
 for the females; rather equal opportunity has to be provided for both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
genders
while
 doing admission
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
colleges
 and
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
 their subjects. I do agree with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
equality despite the challenges faced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity.
To begin
 with, in the learning stages whatever subjects,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are taught in the classes, should not be
gender
bias
Wrong verb form
biased
show examples
. It has to be learned and applied practically by the students. Given the chance irrespective of
gender
, all have the capability to learn and perform at maximum level.
Therefore
 In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools or
colleges
, everyone should be aware of sensational talks on
gender
 inequity treating
girls
 as average performers. Some people argue that in certain
colleges
 like, engineering
college
Fix the agreement mistake
colleges
show examples
, admission priority has been given more to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
males than females, considering that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
girls
 possess less intellectual capability. In that instance, social stigmatization
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
gender
 inequality will continue to prevail. To prevent
such
 disharmony in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society equal opportunity has to be given to both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sexes.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 in some
colleges
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
girls
 have overtaken some of the male students that’s why now the number of female pilots
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 on
rise
Add an article
the rise
show examples
.
Further
 more people believed that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
girls
 are physically incompetent against men. Given the chance and their effort in combating wrong statements against them, nothing showed impossible for women to prove them wrong. Nowadays in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
military
colleges
Add a comma
,colleges
show examples
 the number of female army officers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 on the rise, showing people that offering
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
equal opportunity is
must
Correct article usage
a must
show examples
.
To conclude
, as I have mentioned in the above paragraphs both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gender
 have equal mental and physical capability to learn and bring changes in the system.
Hence
 all the
colleges
 and schools should accept
same
Change the article
a same
the same
show examples
 number of male and female students in all the subjects.
Submitted by rinchennima77 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: