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Writing Samples
Band 5

Universities should accept equal number of male and female students in every subjects . to what extent do you agre or disagree

#universities #students #subjects #agre
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Some of the universities around the world have seen that the college admission priority has been preferably given to the males
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 females. In doing so, it isn’t
fare
Correct your spelling
fair
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 for the females; rather equal opportunity has to be provided for both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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genders
while
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 doing admission
in
Change preposition
to
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colleges
Use synonyms
 and
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
 their subjects. I do agree with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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equality despite the challenges faced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humanity.
To begin
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 with, in the learning stages whatever subjects,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are taught in the classes, should not be
gender
Use synonyms
bias
Wrong verb form
biased
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. It has to be learned and applied practically by the students. Given the chance irrespective of
gender
Use synonyms
, all have the capability to learn and perform at maximum level.
Therefore
Linking Words
 In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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schools or
colleges
Use synonyms
, everyone should be aware of sensational talks on
gender
Use synonyms
 inequity treating
girls
Use synonyms
 as average performers. Some people argue that in certain
colleges
Use synonyms
 like, engineering
college
Fix the agreement mistake
colleges
show examples
, admission priority has been given more to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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males than females, considering that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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girls
Use synonyms
 possess less intellectual capability. In that instance, social stigmatization
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
gender
Use synonyms
 inequality will continue to prevail. To prevent
such
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 disharmony in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society equal opportunity has to be given to both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sexes.
For
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instance
Add a comma
,instance
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 in some
colleges
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
girls
Use synonyms
 have overtaken some of the male students that’s why now the number of female pilots
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 on
rise
Add an article
the rise
show examples
.
Further
Linking Words
 more people believed that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
girls
Use synonyms
 are physically incompetent against men. Given the chance and their effort in combating wrong statements against them, nothing showed impossible for women to prove them wrong. Nowadays in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
military
Use synonyms
colleges
Add a comma
,colleges
show examples
 the number of female army officers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 on the rise, showing people that offering
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
equal opportunity is
must
Correct article usage
a must
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, as I have mentioned in the above paragraphs both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gender
Use synonyms
 have equal mental and physical capability to learn and bring changes in the system.
Hence
Linking Words
 all the
colleges
Use synonyms
 and schools should accept
same
Change the article
a same
the same
show examples
 number of male and female students in all the subjects.
Submitted by rinchennima77 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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