Many people believe that children should spend their time reading stories rather than playing computer games or watching television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #time #stories #computer #games #television

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Many individuals think that

children

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should spend their time reading

stories

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instead

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of playing computer

games

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or watching

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. I completely disagree with

this

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statement because

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and playing computer

games

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speed up

learning

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the learning

show examples

process

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and enhance creativity.

To begin

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with, I totally believe that

children

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should spend their time playing

video

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games

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or watching television rather than reading

stories

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Firtsly

Correct your spelling

Firstly

, watching

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can

boosts

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boost

show examples

learning

Correct article usage

the learning

show examples

process

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among

children

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This

Linking Words

is because television

contain

Change the verb form

contains

show examples

pictures and sounds, which

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can make watching television more interesting.

For example

Linking Words

from

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show examples

watching fiction movies

children

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can learn how to think

out

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outside

show examples

box

Add an article

the box

show examples

, which

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can

boosts

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boost

show examples

creativity among

children

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Secondly

Linking Words

, often

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progarm

Correct your spelling

program

programs

use simple vocabulary easy to understand for

children

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In contrast

Linking Words

, reading

stories

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from books

often

Add a missing verb

is often

show examples

boring and using complex

langauge

Correct your spelling

language

, which

make

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makes

show examples

learning

Add an article

the learning

show examples

process

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more challenging for

children

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Finally

Linking Words

, playing

video

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games

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can improve solving problems skills among

children

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This

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is because some

video

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games

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encourage

children

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to solve

Add an article

the puzzle

a puzzle

show examples

puzzle

Fix the agreement mistake

puzzles

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in order to

wine

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win

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

games

Use synonyms

, which

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can increase

intelligent

Replace the word

intelligence

show examples

among

children

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, researchers have

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

proven playing

computers

Change the noun form

computer

show examples

games

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

with

show examples

children

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can contribute to

make

Change the verb form

making

show examples

children

Use synonyms

less vulnerable to get mental health

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

namely, depression, anxiety, and stress.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the fact that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

playing

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

is considered exercise for

brain

Add an article

the brain

show examples

, which

mean

Correct subject-verb agreement

means

show examples

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

improve brain functions.

To sum up

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, I strongly think that

children

Use synonyms

should spend their time playing

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

or watching

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of reading

stories

Use synonyms

because playing

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

and watching

Use synonyms

enhance

learning

Add an article

the learning

show examples

process

Use synonyms

, creativity,

brain

Correct word choice

and brain

show examples

functions.

Submitted by faiz3177 on Sat Aug 05 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Nowadays the crime rate among young people is increasing. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done by parents and teachers to reduce it?

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Topic -"Prevention is better than a cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest ir preventative measures.

It costs a lot of money for a country to host an international sports event, such as the Olympic Games and Football World Cup. Some people think that this is a waste of money, but others believe the opposite. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think the government should support artists like painters, musicians, and poets, while others believe this wastes money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.