IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The graph shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.

The graph shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.
#amount #money #books #germany #france #austria
The given graph demonstrates the information on the money consumed on
books
 in four countries which are Germany,France, Italy and
Austria
 in a period of 10 years. As a whole , among the four citizens spending on
books
. The number of individuals in France and
Austria
 showed a
continuous
Change the adjective
continuously
show examples
 rising trend,
whereas
 Germans and Italians increased fluctuating. Moving to the detail, the amount of France people in book consumption rose consistently from 55
million
 US
dollars
 in 1995
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 to 60
million
 US
dollars
 in 1999. At the same time, a slight increase can be seen in the payment of
books
 in
Austria
, from 30
million
 US
dollars
 to 40 US
dollars
.
Additionally
, there was a significant growth in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Austria
 from 40
million
 US
dollars
 to approximately 63 in the period from 2001 to 2005. When it comes to Germany, in the initial year, it increased and stood at 90
million
 US
dollars
.
However
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
a slight dip can be seen in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1999 until 2003 which was followed by 85.
In addition
, the amount of money spent
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in Italy illustrated an apparent downward trend from 1997 to 1999. In general , those countries which consumed
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
books
 were higher than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 initial year.
Submitted by jaehee0203.jh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words books, austria, million, dollars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • fluctuate
  • trend
  • peak
  • trough
  • correlation
  • digital reading platforms
  • socio-economic factors
  • initiatives
  • cultural influence
  • statistical data
  • purchasing habits
  • book industry
  • consumer spending
  • educational resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: