Some people believe that advertisements targeting children may have negative effects on them, and suggest banning such advertisements as a solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true to say that many advertisements are negatively impacting youngsters' lives. I completely agree with
this
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notion and
thus
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give my pertinent arguments in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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with, there are numerous points to support my views.
Firstly
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, the primary cause for my opinion is that these ads can bring harm to children's health. The fact that many fast food industries spend billions of dollars to promote unhealthy products
such
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as chips, burgers, soft drinks, and so on.
In addition
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to
this
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, in some cases, they hire well-known celebrities to endorse their
items
Check wording
products
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.
Consequently
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, kids tend to trust them blindly.
For example
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, studies conducted in 2022 have shown that products promoted by famous celebrities had higher sales compared to those that were not.
On the other hand
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, some
publicities
Use the right word
publicity
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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unfavourable for youngsters
,
Punctuation problem
;
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nevertheless
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, banning them is not a great solution. To solve
this
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issue, the government should organise webinars in schools to aware children of the detrimental effects of oily food.
Furthermore
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, parents should step forward to avoid buying these kinds of goods and explain to their offspring the risks of consuming junk
meals
Check wording
food
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.
Additionally
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, the
advertisement
Replace the word
advertising
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industries
Fix the agreement mistake
industry
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should
also
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check the quality of products before launching the video on digital media.
Moreover
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, the food industries
also
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list the risks and benefits of goods on labels, which can help buyers become aware of whether they should purchase the item or not.
To conclude
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, as all the points mentioned above are taken into
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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consideration, I believe the government should regulate advertisements which are directly targeted at children.

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planning
Plan your essay. Start with a short intro that says your view and what you will talk about.
coherence
Use a clear order. One idea per paragraph and use linking words to move from one idea to the next.
grammar
Watch grammar and word use. Some phrases read oddly. Use simple, correct forms.
content
Give more good examples. Explain how ads push kids to make choices.
mechanics
Check spelling and punctuation. Start sentences with a capital letter and end with a period.
stance
Clear view on the topic
coherence
Link words used well in parts
structure
Paragraphs split ideas well
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • pressure parents
  • unnecessary products
  • childhood obesity
  • highly impressionable
  • materialistic values
  • constant exposure
  • exploit
  • persuasive intent
  • vulnerable to manipulation
  • educate children
  • beneficial
  • impact companies economically
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