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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Because many children are not able to learn foreign languages, schools should not force them to learn foreign languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays, a number of people learn many kinds of
languages
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 in various ways.
However
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, some
children
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 can not learn a
language
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 easily.
ln
Change preposition
In
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 my opinion, I disagree with
this
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 statement and schools should encourage them to learn
languages
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 for
children
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. On the one hand, learning
languages
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 have the amount of profits for
students
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. The first reason is that when teachers teach
languages
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 to them, they teach not only the country's culture but
also
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 history.
Thus
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 if
children
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 learn
language
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, they can develop various communication skills and knowledge.
Moreover
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, in fact, many people want to learn other
languages
Use synonyms
 because these days,
languages
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 can
use
Wrong verb form
be used
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 in many ways,
such
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 as in companies, travelling and meeting other foreigners.
Also
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, if you don't learn a
language
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 at
school
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, you have to pay to learn it, so it's better to learn it at
school
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 early.
Hence
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, schools should teach second
languages
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.
On the other hand
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, schools should
be strengthened
Wrong verb form
strengthen
show examples
students
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' personal abilities.
Firstly
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, learning a
language
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 is memories lots of vocabulary tests with a
lot
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 of grammar.
This
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 can be a
lot
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 of pressure and stress for
students
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.
For instance
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, if a student has a goal or dream, the
school
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 need to help
children
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 develop
further
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.
Secondly
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, there are many compound words from various countries.
Therefore
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, if people use a
lot
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 of other
languages
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, they may lose their
language
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. In conclusion, learning a
language
Use synonyms
 takes a
lot
Use synonyms
 of time and effort, but I think
students
Use synonyms
 should learn it in
school
Use synonyms
 because it has lots of advantages for them.

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Task Response
Provide a more balanced view by considering potential drawbacks of learning foreign languages for some children.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are not clearly presented. Work on structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Expand the variety of vocabulary and use more precise and varied lexical choices to improve the overall lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
Work on using more complex sentence structures and pay attention to subject-verb agreement and word choice to enhance grammatical range.
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