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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some believe the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars and motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#believe #road #safety #age #cars #motorbikes
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A group of individuals present the view that the best measure which can be done to enhance
the
Correct article usage
apply
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roads
Change the noun form
road
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 safety is to raise the minimum legal
age
Use synonyms
 for driving vehicles
such
Linking Words
 as cars and motorbikes. I agree with
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
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 notion that driving
age
Use synonyms
 contributes to
roads
Change the noun form
road
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accidents
Use synonyms
. It is my view that youngsters are not aware of the consequences of their actions. They tend to drive over the legal speed which is not only dangerous for
the
Remove the article
apply
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themselves but
also
Linking Words
 harmful for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
In addition
Linking Words
, the youth are more likely to break the law which can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
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 to major problems. What they need is driving
Change preposition
at in
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in
Correct your spelling
an
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 early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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 may be a threat
for
Change preposition
to
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 them.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have seen many
accidents
Use synonyms
that
Change preposition
in that
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 the youngsters were in a competitive atmosphere and they started a race in a common street which caused serious issues and adverse
accidents
Use synonyms
 which could bring them to death.
In contrast
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 claim that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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accidents
Use synonyms
 have nothing to do with
age
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they insist that younger
people
Use synonyms
 have more
concentrations
Fix the agreement mistake
concentration
show examples
 which is beneficial for driving.
However
Linking Words
, I do not find
this
Linking Words
 argument convincing as many issues are associated with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 and it is
undoubtable
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
 that most
youth
Change to a plural noun
youths
show examples
 are into video games which brings them some
imaginary
Replace the word
imagination
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. Despite
the
Correct determiner usage
this
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 reality, they assume that they are capable of doing almost everything and they fuse those games with
Correct article usage
the imaginary
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imaginary
Replace the word
imagination
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 which result in committing a crime.
For example
Linking Words
, some younger
people
Use synonyms
 have hit someone and run away since they were not aware of the consequences.
Besides
Linking Words
, they had a fear of paying a hefty fine or going to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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jail. In conclusion, I completely agree with increasing the minimum
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
legal driving
age
Use synonyms
 because the youth mostly tend to break the law
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can be the root of many
road’s
Change noun form
road
show examples
 issues.
Submitted by fatemeh.gh9797 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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